Taking a minute to whine like a little whiner.

Some things shouldn't bother me, but they do. I know good and well as they're bothering me that they shouldn't bother me, but I can't seem to shake the fact that they do bother me.

I know I'm being completely vague, but I'm irritated, and there is no point in calling people out. Where would that get me? I try to stay out of the drama, remember?

This is a message to anyone I know personally.

The next time you whine to someone else about how I'm 'stuck up' and never call, take a step back and ask yourself when was the last time you called me. Yeah, think about that.

Ah...to use my computer...?
To try to borrow money?

I'm confident that this will be the most popular answer:

You haven't taken the initiative to call me. It's always the other way around. Or we haven't talked in months.

There's a reason I never call or send you messages. Because I'm tired of everyone only contacting me when it benefits them in some way. I'm sick of being the go-to for computer needs, but no one is there to talk to me when I need someone to talk to.

I'm being selfish right now, I realize that--so there is no need for you to say it.

Those who I'm not referring to, know better than me saying this about them. If you're having doubts, I'm probably referring to you too.

For those of you who think I should come to you at your leisure, and be there when you need me, but don't think it's necessary to be there when I need you....I only have on thing to say to you.

Go to hell. (Assuming that there is one, of course.)

And if there isn't, well then, just keep my damn name out of your vocabulary. You have no right to talk shit about me when you don't even know me anymore.



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Carrie Prejean at Values Voters Summit.

If you enjoy the urge to dig your ear drums out with an icepick, click here to view the rest of this bigot's speech at the Values Voters Summit.

I want to address a few points this blond bimbo made during this portion of her speech. I haven't watched the other two portions, so who knows, she may say something stupid enough for me to speak out against in those as well. Here goes.

1. "I never let that get to my head, but I was confident. I did see me competing for Miss Universe. I did see that coming.".....Um, that's letting it get to your head sweetheart. Hoping for it, not so much. "Seeing it coming", yes, that's letting it get to your head.

2. Miss USA wanted you? Yes, because you're slightly attractive, and you happened to win Miss California. Needed you? I think you're overstating your worth a bit my dear. It's a beauty pageant.

3. "I feel as though I'm Miss UNIVERSE." But you're not. You're a pageant contestant that lost because you're a bigot. You're being made a hero by the republican party because you're a poster child for their bigotry. Nice.

4. "God chose me for that moment....he knew that I would be able to get through all of the junk that I have been through." You've been through "junk" because you agree with taking away rights from people that are none of your concern. You deserved that "junk", as does anyone else who believes gay marriage should be outlawed.

5. "Why me? A twenty year old young woman?" Because you're a bigot. Age and gender has nothing to do with that fact.

6. "Who had the courage and the bravery that not many people have." Yeah, or not everyone is a christian radical such as yourself.

7. "I live in the greatest country in the world." Have you been to another country? Hmm, something tells me you probably have not. Most of the world hates America, by the way. Only foolish Americans believe this is the greatest country in the world without even visiting another country.

8. "I'm not really into politics, at least I wasn't at the time." Right, and because the right wing is excepting you because they share your common hatred for people who don't agree with them, you're suddenly "into" politics? Please. Learn something before you pick sides. Though it wouldn't be necessary, I am sure you'd still fit in perfectly with the right wing.

9. "I am disgusted at the way some people can be so intolerant." This one is quite possibly my favorite. You're saying you think a certain group of people (homosexuals) shouldn't allowed to get married because "god" doesn't want it? And THEY'RE the ones being intolerant? All they want is the same rights you have. You're the intolerant one...but you're too self-centered to realize that.

10. "Even though I didn't win the crown that night, I know that the lord has so much of a bigger crown waiting in heaven for me." Ha. That one is amusing. Is that what heaven's about then? God supposedly giving you the things you don't deserve? Well I'm sorry, no one will be bowing down to you in reality Queen Carrie. But whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day....

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8 years is the max sentence for rape?

A millionaire car exporter recieved the maximum sentence of eight years, for raping and having sex with underage orphans. He took them from their orphanage, to an apartment to have sex with, or rape them.

Eight years. Are you serious?

But it doesn't end there. He also helped finance an online child-sex ring website.

Eight years....

What does it say about our country, when a man can rape and have sex with underage girls, helps fund a child sex website, and only gets eight years. All the while, men and women such as Gloria Van Winkle are getting the maximum sentences for drug posession? She didn't just get the maximum sentence for drug possession, she got life in prison for drug possession. Not sales. Possession.

Kanye West and Joe Wilson. One in the same?

Are you two forming some sort of secret Inappropriate Outburst Club that we should know about?

My opinion? You're both douche bags.

We can only hope they both just committed career suicide. (Wishful thinking, right?)

And we don't accept either of your apologies. Nice try though!

Waiting for the phase to pass....

These last couple of days have been strange for me. Actually, let's go ahead and make that the last week has been strange for me.
I don't want to do anything. At least, not anything that interests me.
On a normal basis, I can rarely go a couple of days without either drawing or reading something. Lately, I don't want to either. At all. I have a stack of books in the other room, screaming "I'm due back the eighteenth...", and I can't bring myself to pick them up. Occasionally I try, and the sentences blur together, making absolutely no sense to me.
I don't want to draw either. I've had the same picture in progress for a couple of weeks, but just like the books, it just sits there. Waiting for me to get through this damn phase.
It's driving me crazy.
I'm trying to figure out why.....
Am I sleeping too much? Not enough?
Am I eating enough? Am I lacking a certain nutrient? Do I need to drink a lot more water?
My brain just feels so blah. I have written a little bit, so I can't really group it in with the other two in my *where is the desire hiding?* category. But I still don't have a very significant desire to do that.
I locked the world out yesterday. I just needed a day to shut everyone out, and seclude myself with me and my kids.
I normally do that anyways, in the sense that I rarely go anywhere. But I always answer the phone, and I always have y! messenger going just in case.
But not yesterday. I didn't answer the phone when it rang, I didn't even open y! messenger. I didn't respond to any emails or comments.....I literally ignored everything outside these walls.
It was refreshing, but not good enough. It wasn't enough to get me through this little funk.
I just get so sick of signing into myspace, and reading my "friends" status comments.
Few of my friends on myspace are truly my friends, and many of those who aren't were seriously starting to annoy me.
The whining. Omg, the whining. Constantly. About things in their control. "I'm too fat"...."My life sucks..." Blah, blah, blah.

They don't realize how good they have it.

A friend's daughter passed away, she has every reason to be upset. While others are whining about someone talking shit about them.
GET OVER IT. It could be worse. Like you could've lost one of the most important people in your life, such as a child.

I just don't understand some people, so I felt it was necessary to shut the world out. Everyone. No exceptions.

I don't think it was a good idea. All I did was thinking about my life growing up, which is something I try not to do. It upsets me, and I try to be happy, because things are great for me right now. But sometimes, nostalgia creeps up on me, but not in a good way.

The problem is, I don't blame those who were the source of the things that bother me. It just makes me resent everyone else I know, because most of them don't know how good they have it. They've had good lives, in the sense that they were provided for, but they still find something that makes their lives miserable.

There are things that I've seen and gone through, that no one knows about.
I don't tell anyone these things. I don't want pity. I've done everything in my power to get out of that scene, and for the most part, I have succeeded.

Just because I don't talk about it, doesn't mean I don't think about it.

And when you're complaining about things your mother won't buy you and things of that nature, just know this: you're eating, and that's more than I could've said when I was still living at home.

Surprise! Life is not perfect.

I'm not perfect.
You aren't perfect.
Christians aren't perfect (contrary to their own popular belief).
Atheists aren't perfect.
Muslims aren't perfect.
Buddhists aren't perfect.
Republicans aren't perfect.
Democrats aren't perfect.

(See a pattern?)
No one is perfect. That is not something you can expect out of life.

There are no perfect people. There is no perfect place. You'll never have a perfect day.
It doesn't matter what your life is like, and who you surround yourself with. The fact is: the world is not a perfect place. Get it?

We can however, get as close to perfection as we're able to. How do we do that?
We take charge of our own damn lives. Stop bitching and complaining about things that are in our control.

Don't like how someone treats you? Don't go around 'em.
Don't like who you live with? Move out.
Don't like not having money? Get a job. (provided you can find one in this shit hole economy.)

We're grown, right? Act like it.

Dear Perez Hilton,

I used to like you. I found your junk mildly entertaining (note, I said mildly). You are witty on occasion, I'll give you that.
But if your love for Lady Gaga isn't enough, your hatred for Joss Stone and Kristen Stewart is just sad. What do you have against them?
I believe your animosity towards Kristen is simply because you want Rob Pattinson's body, and lets face it, she has it. But one day you love Rob, the next he's "gross"....

Are you menopausal? They make pills for those mood swings you know.

But why do you really get on my nerves? Because you're the only effing reliable place to stay updated on stupid crap that none of us should care about, yet we all do.

So. I hate contributing to your "success" by giving you page hits because I have to see what's going on in the world out of my ridiculous curiousity.
Grrr....I hate your face.

Sincerely,
Amanda

Attention Whores.

There are some people I just do not understand. Maybe it's because I choose to immerse myself in an isolate world consisting of me and my kids. Or maybe it's because I am irritated by humans in general. But people who do ridiculous things for attention make me want to jump through the television and kick them in their forehead.
I actually envision it happening.
I'm serious.
Whether it be a certain reality tv family who has 18 kids and another way, or a certain blonde bimbo wearing a shirt that says "Real Girls Eat Meat", or that other reality show that subjects their eight kids to camera crews on a daily basis, so much so that the kids no longer notice. Or an octomom who has plastic surgery to make herself resemble Angelina Jolie, and denies she ever had any. Has 14 kids, gets on welfare, gets her own reality show in the works but bashes that other mother of eight for wanting "attention".
It makes someone shaving their head and hitting a car with an umbrella seem insignificant.
I don't understand why people can't just live their lives and be happy without the entire world watching them. Why would you want that sort of attention?
I'll never understand why a person would want cameras following them around everyday, waiting for them to eat at McDonalds so they can paste it on the front of the latest Inquirer magazine and claim the person is binging due to depression from a break up with another famous boyfriend, a relationship which never truly existed.
We're all insignificant. When we die, we may be remembered, but people will eventually forget. Or they will no longer care. Someone bigger and better will come along and Rob Pattinson will take the place of Ben Affleck, who took the place of Sean Connery and the worlds goes on in its endless cycles until one day the sun gets too close the earth and the worlds comes to a tragic end.
Can't we all just be happy with the life we were given instead of trying to create an image to better ourselves? I'm not one for self-deprecation, but I'm capable of living my life without being in the middle of drama.
Whatever happened to doing something good for humanity to make people remember you by?

Okay, so that was a bit of a rant. And I'm done now. Thanks for reading. :)

It's easy to SAY it, but is it true?

There are millions of women, and probably men as well, out there who want kids more than anything in the world, and they can't have them. Whether it be because of a health problem, not successful in getting pregnant, significant other doesn't want kids but they love them to much to walk away, etc.For this reason, it makes me sick when "parents" take advantage of what they have.


I see it everywhere. All over blogs, myspace, etc. "I love My kids", "My kids are my world", and so on.

They say these things, but are they really true. You say you'd die for your kids, but would you really?

These same people are the ones complaining about not being able to go out drinking when their children are still infants. Claiming to be in dire need of a break, before their baby can hold their own head up. Leaving them with a babysitter or the grandparents every weekend, because they would rather be club hopping. It disgusts me.

I don't know where people get the idea that as long as your kids are fed, and have a roof over their head, you're doing your job as a parent. Being a good parent takes a lot more then just supporting your kids financially. If you aren't loving your kids the way you should, you are lacking as a parent. It's simple.

So maybe you got pregnant by accident, either way, the child is still yours. Your flesh and blood. The moment you find out your pregnant, it should be your life. When you have a child, you're saying goodbye, or at least you should be, to the party scene.

If anyone takes offense to this, then I'm talking to you. And I only have two more words for you.

Grow Up.

Ranting and Raving-Fair warning.

I try my best to enjoy every day of my life. But I guess today I'm just in one of those moods, that make it difficult to maintain a cheery mood.

There are a lot of things going through my head today, a lot of them are meaningless, even to me, but they stay there all the same.

I just realized how much I hate the phrase "Bun in the Oven"....I think it sounds very disrespectful to the baby, even if the baby has no idea what's going on. It just sounds, nasty.

I knew this girl, back in about fifth grade. We were really good friends, and to this day, our families are slightly invested in each other. However, I have personally, not been friends with her for a very long time. She's now pregnant. I'm honestly not sure if she even knows who the dad is, nor do I care. It's her life, I just hope the baby is well taken care of.

Although her situation is really none of my business, it does pose some questions in my mind. I will probably never understand "casual sex", and I'm totally okay with not understanding it. It's just not something I personally would ever do. But for those who do it....there are so so so many things you can do to prevent pregnancy, and if you're having "casual sex", it only makes sense to do everything in your power to keep from getting pregnant. Yet, most of them don't. The guys, nor the girls. And baby's are consistently brought into this world to parents who barely, if at all, know each other. It simply disgusts me, for the kids' sake.

Someone I've known for a very long time passed away a few days ago, and I just simply don' t understand it. Something seems very, off, about the whole situation. I feel like someone is hiding something, but I have no clue who, what, or why. But something doesn't feel right.The police have apparently ruled it a suicide, yet the family/witness, have told about five different stories. Their stories have all led back to it being an accidentally, in one way or another. Nothing makes sense to me.


I think coping with death, may be a little easier for me if I had faith in the fact that I would see them again someday. However, I can't force myself to have faith in something I simply don't believe exists.The feeling of hopelessness after someone dies is one of the reasons I believe man created religion in the first place. It makes me understand why I believe religion was created, but it doesn't help me believe in any religion. It's times like these that I wish I could bring myself to believe in something, anything.

I'm happy without religion in my life. I try to live every single day to the best of my ability, and I try not to take anything for granted. It's not like I'm a devil worshiper. I don't believe there's a devil either. Death just doesn't seem like something that should force me to become religious. It just wouldn't be right.

I think I'm done for now.....