Sheer Observance

PLEASE FOLLOW MY OTHER BLOG. THANK YOU!

2010-05-17T19:38:00.001-05:00

I started yet another blog. When I posted a few weeks ago on this blog about not knowing where I want this blog to go, I had been thinking about wanting to do a blog focused on books. Well, rather than make this one a blog about books, I've decided to make another. That way, if I ever feel the need to rant about religion or politics, I can still do it here, while keeping the other blog.....drama free.

Feel free to follow!

http://anotherbookjunkie.blogspot.com

2010-04-22T10:46:00.000-05:00

1. Whose baby did you last hold?
Mine, unless you no longer consider him a baby. Otherwise, my brother's son.

2. What is your preferred brand of dishwashing soap?
Dawn. It's a dollar, and it lasts a couple weeks. Can't really beat that....

3. Cadbury Eggs or Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs?
I don't really care much for sweets, so either or neither....depending on my mood.

4. When were you last on an airplane?
Never.
5. Are you afraid of lightning?
Not if I"m not in the middle of it...

6. Something that happened to you in 1992:
I was three, so I have no idea. I'm sure at that age I was all about learning to count and the abc's and such.

7. When did you last run?
Um, a few days ago I ran to catch my son from attempting to run down the stairs (wouldn't have ended well). But if you mean really ran....I have no idea.

8. Are you guilty of peeking in medicine cabinets?
No.

9. What guilty pleasure do you hate to admit liking?
Oh I don't know...soda? It's so bad for ~~you~~ me, ~~you~~ I really shouldn't drink it.

10. Has anyone ever called you a bad influence?
Not to my knowledge, but I wouldn't doubt it.
11. Pineapple or watermelon?
Um, both, any time of the day please. I do prefer watermelon, however.

12. Have you ever seen the ocean, live and in person?
No.

13. Tell us about your nickname(s).
None of my nicknames apply anymore, but I've had a few over the years. Amanda Banana...that one's pretty self explanatory. Mandooley, I can't really explain that. Amanda Joanne(not my middle name)--for whatever reason, my dad decide to change my middle name mid-childhood...or at least attempt it (which I'm not okay with, I actually really like my middle name). And the last nickname I had was Pooh Bear. At my first job, we all had animal nicknames....my sister worked their first and she was Teddy Bear. Apparently I am the lighter version of her, resulting in Pooh Bear. It stuck for quite some time...in fact a few people still call me that on the rare occasion we see each other.
14. Do you have a ceiling fan somewhere in your home?
Yes, in every room. It was actually one of the reasons I liked this house.

15. What do you look forward to most about Autumn?
Cooler temperatures and the colors.

16. What would I find in the trunk of your vehicle right now?
I have a mini-van, so there is no trunk.
17. And in your kitchen sink?
Breakfast dishes.

18. Who do you kinda wanna smack?
No one at this exact moment in time.

19. Preferred sleepwear: nightgown? pajamas? undies? au naturel?
Shorts and a t-shirt.
20. When you use a grocery cart at the store, do you return it to the proper place?
Usually, unless I'm in a big hurry.

2010-04-12T22:10:00.000-05:00

I remember when I first started this blog, it took everything in me to think of something to write about. For a while, those things worked for me, and I had fun with it.

Then, I got bored with it.

I don't really know what to do with this blog at this point. I don't want to delete it, as that would be wasting massive amounts of my time. Someday, I want to start at the beginning and look at all the things I wrote about, and compare them to the things I care about now.

I can already tell you, I have changed drastically. Simply by looking back a few months.

I've always wrote about things I cared about on any given day. Whether it be religion, celebrities, television shows, books, or random surveys. These days, I think about all the things I could write about, and I decide I don't feel like it. Something else comes to mind that would be better use of my time.

So, I don't know how often I'll post. I guess I'll just wait for inspiration to strike.

A survey. Because I have nothing better to post.

2010-04-01T16:45:00.001-05:00

1. What do you say when you're really nervous?
-I don't think I say anything specific. I don't get nervous very often.

2. Do you believe in love/have you ever been in love?
-I do believe in love, a complex emotion. Yes, I have been in love. I've been in love with the same person since I was thirteen. I often find myself looking at young teens and thinking, "They don't know what love is." Then I remember, I WAS one of those teens, and we're still together. So....maybe some of them do.

3. Have you ever met a famous person?
-Yes. Tech N9ne, twice. It was awesome!

4. How would you describe your own personal Prince Charming:
-I don't believe in a Prince Charming, for me or anyone else. We all think we can create this perfect depiction of what we'd like our significant other to be, but time changes everything. Something about them may intrigue you today, and disgust you tomorrow. But at the end of the day, if you're truly in love with someone, none of that will matter. One quality I think every man should have, just for the hell of it? Balance. A sense of humor is a must, but you need to know when to be serious.

5. If you had to be an animal for the rest of your life, what kind of animal would you be?
-The rest of MY life, or the rest of the life of whatever animal I decided to be? If I were to choose a fly, well now that wouldn't be much fun, would it? I'm already an animal. We're all animals.

6. Who's your favorite Disney Princess?
- Well I don't suppose you would consider Nala a Disney Princess would you? I guess I'd have to choose Ariel.

7. (Fill in the blank with a fact about yourself; it can be mulitple words) I've never smoked a cigarette before. I'm proud of that fact.

8. What's your best friend's first name/nickname?
- Shanise/Niecey.

9. Favorite song in the whole wide world?
- I don't have a favorite song. I think anyone who has one single favorite song, seriously needs to broaden their horizons. There's a whole world of music out there people!

10. What is your absolute favorite book?
-I don't have one of those either. I absolutely love to read, and while I have certain authors I adore, I don't have a favorite book. My favorite authors consist of James Patterson, Stephenie Meyer (read The Host before you make assumptions based on Twilight...), Nicholas Sparks. I really enjoy the YA genre, so I like Megan McCafferty, Sarah Dessen, Susane Colasanti, Simone Elkeles, etc etc.

11. What is one of your favorite quotes? (It can be from anything or anyone).
-I have too many. And I'm tired and I don't feel like actually using my brain right now, thanks.

12. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you go?
-I don't really know. I'd like to visit places before I answered this.

13. What's your favorite TV show?
-Bones/True Blood/Criminal Minds.

14.What's your favorite sandwich?
-Ehhh, I don't care much for sandwiches.

15.Do you believe in Ghosts/Paranormal?
-No.

16. Who is your least favorite celebrity?
-Oh I don't know...Megan Fox I suppose. And not because she's hot, I can acknowledge that. It's just that she KNOWS she's hot, and she acts like the world owes her something.

17.What is your dream vacation?
-Never even considered it.

2010-03-15T10:04:00.000-05:00

1. What was the easiest subject for you in school?
English, by far. Math was pretty easy for me too.

2. Three signs Autumn is here:
Leaves are changing color, leaves begin to fall, Halloween supplies go on sale, birds start to fly south, etc etc.

3. What is your favorite flavor of potato chip?
I don't really care much for chips, but if I had to choose, I guess I'd say.....Cheddar and sour cream.

4. What is your favorite dessert to get at a restaurant?
I don't go to restaurants often, and when I do I rarely get dessert.

5. Where is your favorite place to go when you need some time alone?
There is no such thing as "time alone" in my life. I'm serious.

6. Scatter-brained or organized?
Organized usually, but I have my days.

7. Would you pay extra for a room with a view?
Doubt it. When you're on vacation, aren't you supposed to spend most of your time out of the room anyways?

8. What is your favorite black-and-white movie?
I don't really have a favorite, but I enjoy quite a few.

9. What's the best part of the playground?
The swings I suppose.

10. Which do you prefer: the activity of city life or the peacefulness of country life?
A mix of the two.

11. The color yellow makes me think of:
Bananas.

12. What was the last tv program you watched?
I'm currently watching "Lazy Town". Oh you mean the last tv show I watched by choice? Roseanne.

13. How old were you when you got your first bank account?
16, I believe.

14. What is your most productive time of day?
For me, afternoon.

15. Ketchup goes on:
Nearly everything.

16. Which room in your home needs the most cleaning attention right now?
My daughter's room.

17. What bill do you hate to pay the most?The mortgage, simply because it's the biggest bill.

18. Why did you choose the shirt you are wearing today?
Because it was what I grabbed. It matched.

19. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Yes, very much so.

20. Where was the hangout spot when you were a teenager?
The Sizzler during my early teenage years, after it was shut down, it became Roller City.

The show I once loved. American Idol.

2010-03-12T14:22:00.000-06:00

Last season I did quite a few reviews of American Idol episodes, and watched pretty much every single episode. For the past few years I've wondered why I even bothered, until finally someone would catch my eye in the top twelve, and I would have at least one person to support. I don't see that happening this season. As a matter of fact, I won't be watching anymore. I'm not even giving this pathetic season a chance.

When Tim Urban went through to the top twelve, I was at a loss for words. The dude is horrible...I don't understand who's voting for him. Then, when both Todrick and Lilly--both great singers, and Alex--not so great in my opinion, but definitely a crowd favorite--all were sent home, I got to thinking about how there are only two possibilities for such bullshit. Either there are only twelve year old girls voting these days, or the producers are intentionally sabotaging the show to prepare for it's inevitable cancellation when Simon is gone.

Both scenarios seem possible. I've been watching since the first season, which would've made me about 13 or 14. While I've watched pretty much every season, I've only voted a handful of times. The point is, it's a show I grew up with during my teenage years, which is probably the only reason I would watch it at my age. I realized, I've outgrown it. However, there are new teens watching it for the first time, while their hormones are running rampant. Thus, we end up with Tim Urban in the top twelve.

Then there's the fact that Simon will not return after this season. We can think what we want about why this show is successful, but I believe we'll soon realize that HE is the reason. I don't see this show lasting beyond next season, when the producers realize what losing him has cost the show. Which brings me to the second scenario. Do they already realize? And are they messing with the results to infuriate people to the point that they stop watching, making the cancellation less of a deal? We know the show is not one hundred percent authentic. Anyone who honestly believes that is naive.

I've always had a favorite. Every single season. Sometimes my favorites won, sometimes they didn't. My reaction to the winners varied drastically.

Kelly Clarkson--When Kelly won, I was ecstatic. She was my favorite from the beginning, and at the time, I knew she would sing the kind of music I enjoyed. (At the time. I no longer like her style of music, but that isn't of importance.)

Ruben Studdard--I liked Ruben. I also liked Clay Aiken. However, this season was ruined for me when Kimberely Caldwell was sent home, because she was my favorite by far. However, being season 2, I stuck with it, chose a new favorite, and continued to watch. That favorite became Ruben. He was like a big teddy bear. Did I vote? No. I never voted back then. Ever. But when Ruben actually won, I was in disbelief. I still to this day believe Clay lost because the producers didn't want a gay man to win. (Oh come on, just because he didn't come out of the closet for many years later, doesn't mean we didn't already know he was gay.)

Fantasia--Eh. She was an okay singer. At the time, I preferred her over Diana Degarmo, so ultimately, I was pleased with her winning. But she didn't deserve to win that season. I think it goes without saying Jennifer Hudson did. The girl only made it to the top six, and look at her success. At the same time, would that success be the same, had she won? Doubtful. Maybe this was for the best.

Carrie Underwood--My reaction to Carry winning was, well, DUH! This season was hers from the moment America saw her audition. She was destined to be where she is today, and is by far the best thing that has ever come out of American Idol.

Taylor Hicks--Where is he? Have you heard of him since he won? I heard he's doing Broadway, though I can't be sure. To be completely honest, I don't care enough to Google him. This season was Chris Daughtry's season. I still believe his elimination was a stunt from the producers. His following was just too large for him to only make it to fourth place. I refuse to believe it. Look at him now.

Jordin Sparks--I actually managed to miss more of this season than any other. All I honestly remember is Jordin Sparks winning, the runner up being good at beat boxing, and the ridiculousness that was Sanjaya. From what I remember, Jordin deserved to win.

David Cook--I was surprised when he won, because I honestly didn't expect it. However, the surprise was a pleasant one. I really liked him, and he's a rocker, so he's my kind of guy.

Kris Allen--My thought, BULLSHIT!!! First let me say, I did not like Adam Lambert. Anyone who read this blog back then knows I was a Matt Giraud fan, through and through. I did not want Adam to win. However, his following was HUGE. His fans were every-fucking-where. They're STILL everywhere. Ohhh but he's gay....so of course he didn't win. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I honestly believe the folks behind the cameras over at Idol are serious homophobes. I say, RIGGGED!

And that brings us to this craptastic season. Who will win? Who fucking knows. Not a single one of them would've made it to the top twelve a few years ago. Not a single one of them are good enough to win American Idol. Michael Lynch and Siobhan Magnus are the only hope for this season, and even they don't scream "star" to me. (Ya know, like Carrie did. During the PREVIEWS for that season. I didn't even need to see the actual show to know she would be my favorite.) Idol's on it's last leg, I'm just waiting for it to come tumbling down.

What the fuck is wrong with the world?

2010-02-09T11:21:00.000-06:00

Thanks to Sxephil on Youtube, one disturbing story was brought to my attention. And another that is a lot less disturbing, and not so surprising, yet still pisses me off.

Soldier waterboards 4 year old daughter for having trouble reciting her ABC's:
Click here.

Begs the question; Can we blame the war for inflicting such psychological damage on someone, or is this man simply psychotic, and shouldn't have had his daughter in the first place? I'm not sure. As much I as I am against this war, I don't see how serving in it could make someone think it was okay to waterboard their four year old daughter. I'm sure it causes a lot of damage, damage that we'll be dealing with for many years to come, but this was a little girl. A little girl being treated like an Al Qaeda soldier because she was having trouble reciting the ABC's. It's sick.

Christian group in Michigan claims hate crime laws are an effort to eradicate their beliefs.
Click here.

I don't have much to say about this. It is in no way surprising to me, and I honestly don't understand how it surprises anyone at all. Read the story and see if surprises you.

My theme song?

2010-02-02T17:14:00.000-06:00

I believe so! :)

Ehhh weekends?

2010-01-31T20:11:00.000-06:00

I have a serious love-hate relationship with....

Hold that thought..Pink's performing on the Grammy's now.

Pink's fucking amazing. And sooo underrated. When I see Beyonce hang upside down, while spinning thirty or so feet in the air, yes still sounding completely amazing, maybe I'll have a little more respect for her.

Anywho...I have a love hate relationship with weekends. I love them because the whole family is together all day, and we can do whatever we'd like, without having to wait until the boyfriend is off of work. There are no lunches to be made, no waking up super early, etc.

The down side...I get behind on so many things. Cleaning, my exercising doesn't happen, my diet gets shot all to hell. By Sunday night I feel horrible because I know the whole weekend was a complete bust on my quest for weight loss.

I haven't mentioned that, have I? I'm trying very very hard to give up soda, exercise at least three days a week, and stick to a 1500 maximum calorie a day diet. To my surprise, giving up soda is the hardest part of all. I have drank 3-5 cans a day for years, and that's horrible. And it's a whole shit load of calories, so if I plan on sticking to my daily calorie intake, I definitely can't keep drinking soda. Otherwise, I'll never be able to eat. Effff that. I love my Mountain Dew, but I like food more.

Anyways...I think I'm done with this ever-so-pointless post...but at least it's something.

So angry I can't even think of a title!

2010-01-25T22:40:00.001-06:00

What a pathetic excuse for a mother!!!

This woman punished her son for getting bad grades, by forcing him to kill his pet hamster with a hammer.

........

I'm all about animal rights, anyone who knows me knows this. But right now, I don't give a fuck about that hamster. Yes, it's sad that he was beat to death by a child, for something as trivial as a bad grade, but that's not what I'm concerned about right now.

Can you imagine the damage this has probably caused this child??

And people are actually angry about our country placing someone in jail over a pet hamster's murder. And those people.............are fucking morons. Plain and simple.

Again. THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE HAMSTER!! What she did to this child was emotional abuse, and she deserves worse than sitting in jail.

Ugh, I'm done. This is making me nauseous.

A long overdue In My Mailbox.

2010-01-13T19:39:00.000-06:00

It is long overdue, and after this one, it'll be a while before I post another one. The reason being, I have nine books to read before they're due back to the library in three weeks. Don't ask me what the hell possessed me to go through with picking them all up. I may have some free time everyday, but not that much free time. But I guess we'll see if I can do it.

The Raw Food Revolution Diet by Cherie Soria and others. (This may be just a flip through)
Sandpiper by Ellen Wittlinger.
Gingerbread by Rachel Cohn.
Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen. (I'm sure you're familiar with the movie.)
6th Target by James Patterson.
The Burn Journals by Brent Runyon.
The Lake House by James Patterson.
Uglies by Scott Westerfeld.
Love and other four-letter Words by Carolyn Mackler.

I have a busy few weeks ahead of me.

Visit my blog a day blog by clicking here.

VISIT MY OTHER BLOG!

2010-01-05T20:25:00.001-06:00

I didn't have a new "In My Mailbox" to post this week, because I'm still reading the books from lasts week's post. Also, I haven't had a chance to get to library to pick anymore up.

Anyways, I read This Lullaby, by Sarah Dessen.

I really liked it, though I kind of wished we had seen a little bit more of Dexter's personality. He was a lot of fun, and I don't feel like I got enough of him. Still yet, I liked the book. I plan on reading more of Sarah Dessen's work in the near future.

Anywho, please go read/subscribe to my other blog! Blog a day for a year bloggy blog!

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Head on over....

2010-01-01T16:13:00.002-06:00

New blog on my blog a day for a year challenge blog!

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A blog a day....

2009-12-31T13:46:00.002-06:00

I've decided to take a challenge. I will a~~lmost certainly fail~~ succeed!!

A blog a day for a year?!?

Can I do it?

We'll find out.

But not here. Most of my posts will probably be made of useless nonsense, which is not too far off from this blog I guess...nevertheless, I'm making a blog specifically for this challenge.

Head on over to http://amandarharris.blogspot.com and follow. Let's take this journey together.
While you're at it, go follow http://shanisejones.blogspot.com too. She is the one who presented this challenge to me, and she's doing it as well. Which of us do you think will make it further?

We. Shall. See.

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In My Mailbox

2009-12-28T23:25:00.001-06:00

I would actually love to be sleeping right now. But I'm not, so I guess I'll do my weekly In My Mailbox.

I'm currently reading Peeps, by Scott Westerfield:

I'm only about seventy pages in, and I can already tell this is going to be an amazing book. Don't ask me how I know, I just know.
Every couple of chapters, we're given a little biology lesson.
Sounds boring, right? It really isn't. It made me realize I do like science. I thought I hated it. I believe they should really make science more enjoyable in school. Or make the teachers less....stoner-ish. More hands on, less lights-off-movie-time. Your students may think they want movie time, but they'll understand later in life. Like I do.

Anyways, moving on.

I'm ready for bed, so I'll make this short and sweet. Within the next two days, I'll be making a trip to the library to pick up the following. If I think they're worth a review here, I'll do one.

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In My Mailbox

2009-12-21T21:28:00.003-06:00

In my mailbox was actually brought to my attention by my best friend Shanise, who got it from This Chick, and well---to figure out where she got it, just go give the two of them a visit, mmk?

I had actually read the original blog, but for whatever reason, I never thought to borrow the idea until Shanise mentioned it. .

Anywhooo, In My Mailbox explores whatever is in your mailbag, or on a shopping list, or something of that sort for the week. For mine, (and I don't know if it will be this way all the time) I'm choosing to talk about the books I got for this week from the library.

It will be ~~BORING~~ amazing for all of you, because I am just that interesting!

(Just....go with it. K?)

I only got two books, and I'm going to try to limit myself every week to how many I bring home. I have a problem with feeling pressured, and I feel I need to read books because they're due back soon, I won't have any desire to read them at all. So they'll sit, until I decide to take them back-unread. I don't want that to happen. (I have two kids, and a house to maintain.)

First up:

Thirteen Reasons Why, by Jay Asher.

I have actually already read this book. And I loved it. I wish it had ended a little differently, and yet I can't think of a way I would have liked for it to end. I believe it probably ended the only way it could, for it to still seem real.

I wouldn't be giving too much away to tell you a bit about the book.

A young girl named Hannah commits suicide. Before ending her life, she creates audiotapes directed towards certain individuals. These individuals are the people she holds responsible for her death. The tapes unveil a series of events, that ultimately pushed the young girl to insanity. Her only escape is to kill herself, but she felt the people responsible needed to know why she did it. So she tells them. Her instructions (and I won't go into detail) are for them to pass the tapes from one person to the next, until the final person has heard their role.

She's witty, and she's raw. She holds nothing back, making you want to keep reading until you reach the very end. Until you know everything that happened to push her to such extremes.

As an aspiring author, this novel leaves me thinking, "Now I want to create something like that, forget Twilight."(despite Twilight's success.)

Moving on to book two "In My Mailbox".

The Girl She Used To Be, by David Cristofano

You can read more about the book here. I got it due to a recommendation by Someday I'll Get There. I figured I'd give it a go, and once I've read it, I'll try to do a review on the book. (Without giving anything away, of course.)

So that's it for my In My Mailbox post this week. See ya next Monday!

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Dear email spammers,

2009-12-18T14:36:00.002-06:00

Let me let you in on a little secret.

As if your promise of an eighteen million dollar check in the subject wasn't ridiculous enough, your name was over the top. No way would I ever open an email, under the name Aladdin Disney.

Nice try though.

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Poem of the Day.

2009-12-14T12:04:00.001-06:00

Sonnet 46

by William Shakespeare

Mine eye and heart are at a mortal war,

How to divide the conquest of thy sight;

Mine eye my heart thy picture’s sight would bar,

My heart mine eye the freedom of that right.

My heart doth plead that thou in him dost lie,

A closet never pierc’d with crystal eyes

But the defendant doth that plea deny,

And says in him thy fair appearance lies.

To side this title is impannelled

A quest of thoughts, all tenants to the heart;

And by their verdict is determined

The clear eye’s moiety, and the dear heart’s part:

As thus; mine eye’s due is thy outward part,

And my heart’s right, thy inward love of heart.

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Poem of the Day.

2009-12-11T17:16:00.001-06:00

Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore--

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over--

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

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Poem of the Day.

2009-12-10T11:22:00.001-06:00

I absolutely love this poem, I always have. But it seems to fit my attitude more now than ever. Enjoy.

Let America Be America Again by Langston Hughes

Let America be America again.

Let it be the dream it used to be.

Let it be the pioneer on the plain

Seeking a home where he himself is free.

(America never was America to me.)

Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed--

Let it be that great strong land of love

Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme

That any man be crushed by one above.

(It never was America to me.)

O, let my land be a land where Liberty

Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,

But opportunity is real, and life is free,

Equality is in the air we breathe.

(There's never been equality for me,

Nor freedom in this "homeland of the free.")

Say, who are you that mumbles in the dark?

And who are you that draws your veil across the stars?

I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,

I am the Negro bearing slavery's scars.

I am the red man driven from the land,

I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek--

And finding only the same old stupid plan

Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.

I am the young man, full of strength and hope,

Tangled in that ancient endless chain

Of profit, power, gain, of grab the land!

Of grab the gold! Of grab the ways of satisfying need!

Of work the men! Of take the pay!

Of owning everything for one's own greed!

I am the farmer, bondsman to the soil.

I am the worker sold to the machine.

I am the Negro, servant to you all.

I am the people, humble, hungry, mean--

Hungry yet today despite the dream.

Beaten yet today--O, Pioneers!

I am the man who never got ahead,

The poorest worker bartered through the years.

Yet I'm the one who dreamt our basic dream

In the Old World while still a serf of kings,

Who dreamt a dream so strong, so brave, so true,

That even yet its mighty daring sings

In every brick and stone, in every furrow turned

That's made America the land it has become.

O, I'm the man who sailed those early seas

In search of what I meant to be my home--

For I'm the one who left dark Ireland's shore,

And Poland's plain, and England's grassy lea,

And torn from Black Africa's strand I came

To build a "homeland of the free."

The free?

Who said the free? Not me?

Surely not me? The millions on relief today?

The millions shot down when we strike?

The millions who have nothing for our pay?

For all the dreams we've dreamed

And all the songs we've sung

And all the hopes we've held

And all the flags we've hung,

The millions who have nothing for our pay--

Except the dream that's almost dead today.

O, let America be America again--

The land that never has been yet--

And yet must be--the land where every man is free.

The land that's mine--the poor man's, Indian's, Negro's, ME--

Who made America,

Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,

Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,

Must bring back our mighty dream again.

Sure, call me any ugly name you choose--

The steel of freedom does not stain.

From those who live like leeches on the people's lives,

We must take back our land again,

America!

O, yes,

I say it plain,

America never was America to me,

And yet I swear this oath--

America will be!

Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,

The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,

We, the people, must redeem

The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.

The mountains and the endless plain--

All, all the stretch of these great green states--

And make America again!

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Poem of the Day.

2009-12-09T15:12:00.003-06:00

Have I ever mentioned I also enjoy poetry? Eh, probably not. I like all forms of writing, for future reference. There's nothing I do not enjoy.

So, here's my Poem of the Day. Maybe I'll start doing this everyday (when my schedule permits, of course). That's my goal.

(Hopefully I can follow through on this one....we'll see.)

Anywho, todays poem....

Song

by: Christina Rossetti

When I am dead, my dearest,

Sing no sad songs for me;

Plant thou no roses at my head,

Nor shady cypress tree:

Be the green grass above me

With showers and dewdrops wet;

And if thou wilt, remember,

And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,

I shall not feel the rain;

I shall not hear the nightingale

Sing on, as if in pain;

And dreaming through the twilight

That doth not rise nor set,

Haply I may remember,

And haply may forget.

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A Cure for Gay?

2009-12-09T11:23:00.001-06:00

I haven't posted in a while. I don't have much to say, other than, watch Rachel Maddow own this douche bag who claims he can "cure your gay".

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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A Tag. Though I wasn't actually tagged.

2009-10-31T12:54:00.002-05:00

I wasn't tagged. I borrowed this from SheldonSands.

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4.

"sacrifice would be the herald of something new. Something won-"

Level 26 by Anthony E. Zuiker.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?

A couch pillow.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

The Nutty Professor is on right now, though I'm not actually watching it.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

1 pm.

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

12:57

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

The Nutty Professor.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

A few minutes ago. Running a diaper out to the trash.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

This survey, to see if I wanted to.

9. What are you wearing?

Clothes.

10. Did you dream last night?

Probably, but I don't remember.

11. When did you last laugh?

Sometime today.

12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?

Pictures of my kids and two mirrors.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Probably.

14. What do you think of this quiz?

It isn't a quiz, but whatever.

15. What is the last film you saw?

Ummm...I don't know.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

A bigger house.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know about.

Um, I love the smell of comet.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

There are too many things to choose from.

19. Do you like to dance?

Yes.

20. George Bush:

Which one and what about him?

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

My first child was a girl, and I named her something that I'm not sharing on this blog.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

I have a boy, and I'm not putting that on my blog either.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

No.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

I don't believe in God, and the idea of pearly gates is beyond ridiculous.

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2009-10-28T21:49:00.005-05:00

I got this from Someday I'll Get There....let me know if you decide to post it, so I can have a looksie. :)

1.Candy corn: Your thoughts?
Don't like it. If I'm going to eat sweets, I want them to taste better than that.

2. Briefly, what was the first conversation you ever had with your spouse? (or best friend, if you're not married.) (Or someone significant, like your librarian.)
There is no way in hell I could ever remember that. I was in like third grade. Literally. Maybe even younger. The first memory I have, is standing on opposite sides of our yards (he lived behind me growing up), and him hitting me in the head with a rock. Now that wasn't very nice, was it? Haha.

3. Could you ever become a vegetarian?
I am a vegetarian. I have relapsed before. So no, I am not a perfect vegetarian. But it is important to me. I'm just weak. (damn cashew chicken.)

4. Have you ever dressed up your pet in a costume?
I have an iguana. Something tells me he wouldn't like that very much.

5. Name something about childhood that you miss (like Clark Bars, Tea berry Gum, Malibu Barbie, cracking fake eggs on people's heads with your fist and "It's the Great Pumpkin" airing only once a year).
My grandmother was alive. And to quite honest, that's all I miss.

6. Have you ever won a trophy? If not, what do you deserve a trophy for?
In fifth grade, I made it to the top five in the city wide spelling bee. (I wonder if that trophy still exists....)

7. When do you think is the appropriate time to begin playing Christmas music each year?
When Thanksgiving is over. I don't think people give Thanksgiving enough credit.

8. What is your favorite board game?
Probably Checkers.

9. How do you feel about surprises (receiving, not giving)?
It depends on who it's from, and what it is. I don't like to feel uncomfortable. I also don't like to feel indebted to anyone.

10. Is it easy for you to say "I'm sorry?"
When I mean it. (I don't say it if I don't though...soo....yes, it is easy.)

11. What is your favorite candle scent?
I don't really have a favorite. I prefer incense if I'm going for the smell.

12. October is traditionally "open house" time in public schools. If you had a literal open house in your home (like a reception) what light snacks would you serve visitors and what would you show them (as in art projects, graded papers) that would uniquely represent you?
Light snacks? Um...fruit. Sorry guys, I love my fruit. I would show them my art, though I am self conscious about it, usually. (Note, I would never allow that many people in my house at once. I hate it.)

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Say what you will about Obama, I respect the man.

2009-10-28T21:24:00.003-05:00

I really don't need to go into detail. The article speaks for its self. Obama is taking steps forward in this country, a fact that many will probably bitch and complain and "We need to take America back" over. Pathetic. But whatever. Just click right here, and read up.

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Return of the....I wish I had a cool name for myself.

2009-10-26T10:59:00.003-05:00

I have been away. While I doubt you noticed, I'll talk about why anyways. So there.

I've been reading quite a bit lately.

It started with The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins.

On to Dead As a Doornail by Charlaine Harris.

(I've yet to finish this. I can't stand these books. I only keep reading because I want to know what happens, and they make for a fantastic tv show. But I'm tired of reading three pages every chapter about her bedtime routine. We don't care what pajamas you're wearing to bed. We don't care about the makeup applying process before you leave for work. Just get to the damn story. Stop telling us what you're doing every second of every day. We don't need all that.)

And I read Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin yesterday. If I hadn't already been a vegetarian, that book would've made me one. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'll be able to consume another dairy product either after reading it. So thank you Rory and Kim, veganism here I come.

(I do highly recommend everyone reads that. No, I'm not trying to make you change your eating habits. I just think people should rethink where they're getting their food. For example, don't feed your babies any baby meats from the jar. It's common for them to mix rotten meat with fresh meat, and sell it for baby food. It turns my stomach to think my kids could've gotten rotten meat out of a "trusted" brand's jar. Never again.)

What more info on Skinny Bitch and other books by the witty duo?

I'll be starting Level 26 by Anthony E. Zuiker with Duane Swierczynski sometime today if I'm lucky. If anyone has read this, let me know what you thought.

So there you have it. I've been reading, and when I'm reading I don't have much to say about anything. Why blog if I don't have anything to say?

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Are we ever truly grown?

2009-10-15T11:18:00.002-05:00

It's obvious that our bodies eventually stop growing, seemingly bringing an end to our adolescence.

I have reason to believe we continue to mature over time. Which I doubt anyone would argue with.

Just a few months ago, I was on a Twilight frenzy. I read the books twice in two weeks, watched the movie dozens of times, and blogged about it relentlessly. I read over some of my previous posts, and I've said things such as the books being my favorite books of all time, the movie being the best I've seen in a long time, etc.

What the hell was I thinking?

I like Twilight. Still. Don't get me wrong. The books were good. Good being the key word here. They are in no way my favorite books of all time. I don't even remember writing that they were, but I must have.

The movie was nothing more than mediocre. Looking back, I'm not impressed by it at all.

So six months ago, I thought a book written for teenagers was the best I'd ever read. (I'd deny it if there wasn't proof I thought this.) It just seems completely impossible.

Now, I don't care. I'd rather watch True Blood. (though I am not much of a fan of those books).

Could I have come that far in six months?

Furthermore, how will I be six months from now? Sitting in a rocking chair, spending my days knitting sweaters?

(Okay, maybe that was a bit much, but really...)

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Oh, sweet useless rambling of a haggard loser. Hahahaha.

2009-10-12T23:30:00.004-05:00

I haven't posted in a bit. I do plan on downgrading my Fifteen for Friday to a Ten for Tuesday, starting tomorrow. I'm doing this for various reasons. One being, fifteen it just too many. Ten is reasonable. Friday's are busy. Tuesdays are boring. Got it? Mmk, moving on.

I haven't posted because I can't get my head out of books long enough to do so. I have two kids to take care of, which leaves me with a small amount of free time. Which is wholeheartedly invested in finishing the Jessica Darling series by Megan McCafferty.

(Though the older and supposedly wiser Jessica continues to annoy me in her slutty selfishness, I still can't stop reading.)

(I know what you're thinking. It's just a book. Jessica Darling isn't real.)

Yeah, whatever. I enjoy escaping reality for a time to get lost in the world of fantasy. Imagination is good for the soul.
(Assuming there's one lurking in there somewhere.)

Point being, it is not just a book. It's always much, much more than that.

Why do I do this anyways? This blogging thing? What purpose does it serve?

When I'm dead and gone (quite possibly before that), this blog will probably be lost in cyberspace. My thoughts, however shallow and boring as they may be, will be lost. Seems pointless. As does all these material things surrounding me right now. When we're dead, what use are they? Sure, we can pass them on. But the fact is, no matter how much someone loves you, the last thing they want to do is burden all of your belongings, feeling guilty for each thing they discard over the years, even though it's just sitting there collecting dust, doing no one any good at all. But that's the way it goes. We live, we collect, we die, we pass it down, it makes people feel obligated to cherish, they eventually throw it away maximizing their guilt, and eventually they die, and the cycle continues.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not getting all "what's the point in living?" on you. I love my life, and I try to enjoy every second of it. I'm not questioning the value of life. I'm questioning the value of possessions. What the hell is the point? To make you happy while you're here. That's it, right? That's all it can be.

I feel like my father. I've heard time and time again from him how he doesn't care about material things. He doesn't need material things to be happy. (The funny thing is, I don't remember him ever actually being happy.)

Ahhh, I have to stop. I have to sleep. This is ridiculous. I'm completely delusional tonight. I should be in bed. Goodnight.

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Tech N9ne concert, number 11.

2009-10-06T11:20:00.004-05:00

Anyone who knows me, knows I absolutely adore Tech N9ne.

Last night I went to one of his concerts, making it my eleventh.

My only regret is not getting in the crowd when I had the chance. I love Tech N9ne, but I was wearing flip flops, and well....you understand why I want to keep my toes?

Let me start by saying, the concert was nothing short of amazing. But his concerts are always amazing, so there's no surprise there.

Among doing his own music, he did a little tribute to Michael Jackson. I loved it. Moonwalk and everything. Priceless.

Watching the concert from the back is a whole new experience. I have never not been in the crowd at one of his concerts. As a matter of fact, I have never not been in the front row at one of his concerts.

It's completely different. You see everything back there. All the failed attempts at dancing. It's amusing, but at the same time, I can't help but envy them for being able to cut loose when they look so damned ridiculous doing it. And they don't even care.
(No alcohol present, so it can't be contributed to that. They really didn't care...)

There was one girl who could actually dance fairly well. She traveled around the room from guy to guy, moving on when they couldn't dance well enough for her liking. (that's the way it seemed anyways, maybe not. That was my take.)

She finally settled on two guys. Both of which, obviously, could dance well enough for her to stick around. Within minutes, she was sandwiched between the two of them, whispering in their ears, and having the time of her life.

The reason I mention this is because, minutes before she approached them, they were hanging all over each other. Yes, they were gay. And she was completely oblivious.

Another girl walked by wearing a shirt that said, and I quote. "Sorry, I don't do Gangster."
This was hilarious more than anything.

Tech N9ne has this song called "Areola". They know what they're doing with that song. Of course when you have a song about nipples, girls are going to lift their shirts. (Slutty girls, that is.)

In this case, the flasher of the night was a child. I say she was a child because I perceived her to be no older than seventeen. Eighteen at most.

After sitting on someone's shoulders with her shirt up for the entire song, she was brought on stage. At which point she grabbed Tech's microphone and said..and again, I am quoting the dumbass. "You know you want my shit."

My shit? Who the hell talks like that? Moving on...

He laughed, took the mic back and said,

"How old are you?"
"It don't even matter." She says. Obviously she isn't of age. Otherwise, it wouldn't matter if she said it, right?
Finally, she says. "I'm 21, ya dig?"

Again, WHO THE HELL TALKS LIKE THAT? No, I don't dig. Do I have a shovel, dumbass? Do I understand? Why yes, I understand you claim you're 21. But you aren't. Any idiot can see that.

This back and forth went on for a few more minutes, while Krizz Kaliko stood to the right of the staging saying over and over again, "She ain't twenty one." In his sweet melodic voice. :)

No seriously, he was practically singing it. Haha.

Some more obscenities were passed back and forth. Ones I would rather not post on my blog. Eventually, she flashed the crowd of course. That was the whole point in bringing her up there in the first place.

The point is, are there any girls left in this world who have any self-respect? She made herself look like a complete moron before show a crowd of hundreds her underage boobs.

She was a slut. But sluts are everywhere, this does not surprise me. I just wonder, where the hell are their parents? I predict an std or unwanted pregnancy before she actually IS 21.

And one more thing, since I failed to mention him. I loved Kutt Calhoun's performance of Smilin' Faces. Love love love that song.

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My Top 15 Vampire Movies.

2009-10-02T21:22:00.005-05:00

Getting back in the spirit of my "Fifteen for Friday".

This is my ranking of vampire movies. I realize my list is lacking. I haven't watched a lot of the movies that are considered to be classic vampire flicks. These are my favorites of the ones I've watched.

The Lost Boys

30 Days of Night

From Dusk Till Dawn

Van Helsing

Interview With the Vampire

Blade

Underworld

Underworld II

Twilight

Blade Trinity

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

Queen of the Damned

Blade II

Dracula 2000

Vampires

If anyone knows of any vampire movies that I should see, leave me a comment, I'll watch them. And I'll update my list accordingly.

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KY church ordains sex offender?

2009-09-30T22:12:00.003-05:00

It seems as though this church is getting the awkward child molesting drama out of the way ahead of time, by ordaining an already registered sex offender.

He was convicted of sexually assaulting an 11 year old boy. While this incident happened years ago, I personally do not believe sexual predators recover from their--what I would call--illness. They refrain, but I don't think the risk ever just goes away.

This is probably a horrible thing for me to say...
But when this man can no longer resist the temptation that his sick, twisted mind feeds him....he will strike against one of the kids attending this church.

When that happens, it is the fault of the parents. Yes, this man should know better. Yes, they should be able to trust him. But knowingly taking their kids to a church led by a pedophile, is knowingly putting their kids in harms way. It. Will. Be. On. Their. Hands.

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You don't care. But I'm doing it anyways. Haha.

2009-09-26T14:55:00.006-05:00

**I stole this from Want What You Have, who stole it from someone else, who stole it from someone else...and the story continues.

The phone rings. Who will it be?
Usually it's one of our parents.

When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
I'll be honest, it depends on how far away we park. But I do try.

In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
I'd say listener....depending on what we're talking about of course. Haha.

Do you take compliments well?
I say 'thank you', but it usually makes me feel uncomfortable to receive compliments.

Do you play Sudoku?
Yes. I love it.

If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
Sure, up until I starved to death or something ate me.

Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Nope.

What was your favorite game as a kid?
I didn't really have one. And if I did, I didn't enjoy it enough to remember it.

Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
I would try. But I have a feeling it would get in the way of things. Luckily, my boyfriend of seven years/the father of my kids is also an atheist. Hopefully I never have to worry about dating anyone else.

Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I don't really know....I guess pursued. I've never been the one to pursue...I have no idea. Let's just leave it at that.

Use three words to describe yourself?
Opinionated, stubborn, bitchy. I'm not afraid to admit this. I know how I am.

Do any songs make you cry?
They probably would if I had the ability to cry. See the thing is, my cryer is evidently broken because I haven't been able to cry properly in quite some time. That's not to say I don't feel emotion, I do. The tears just don't come. But songs that make me sad are Free Bird (because it's been played at numerous funerals I have attended of people I cared about), and Concrete Angel. That country song. Don't ask me who sings it...haha.

Are you continuing your education?
Not by a professional instructor, no. But I learn something new everyday. Whether it be by reading online....reading books....learning life lessons from my children. We should never stop learning.

Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
No. I would rather use an actual camera, as I don't believe in spending that kind of money for a little strip of paper. Yeah yeah, I'm cheap I know.

How often do you read books?
Usually daily. Sometimes I take breaks that can last anywhere from a couple of days to two weeks or so. By the end of that time, I'm usually dying to read something.

Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Honestly, all three. I stress. Constantly. Therefore, the present and the future are constantly on my mind. As for the past, well let's just say I just can't seem to let some things go.

What is your favorite children’s book?
I honestly have no idea.

What color are your eyes?
Green.

Where is your dream house located?
I don't have a dream house. I try not to dream about things that are rather unrealistic. I focus on appreciating what I already have.

If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
My kids...that's a given. After that....oh man. I have no idea. In the heat of the moment (no pun intended) I wouldn't know what to do...however, I can say the most important thing now...the photo album and my digital camera. So I can save pictures.

When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
I've only been there once. It was a few years ago, and if I'm being honest, I don't even remember why. All I remember is that it was a celebration of some sort...I'm horrible.

Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
Like six blocks. I don't get out much.

Do you like mustard?
I do, but I prefer honey mustard (depending on the brand).

Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Seeing as how I've been sleep deprived for the last three years, I'm going to go with sleep.

Do you look like your mom or dad?
Apparently both, because everyone tells me something different every time.

How long does it take you in the shower?
Not long. I have two kids. I'm lucky to get more than ten minutes.

Can you do the splits?
I guess it depends on what kind of splits you're talking about. I can split numbers...food...things of that nature. Can I do physical splits, um, no.

What movie do you want to see right now?
There are a few. I can't think of a particular one right now though.

What did you do for New Year’s?
The same thing I do every other night. Nothing but sit at home with my kids.

Do you think The Grudge was scary?
Um, no. I found it rather ridiculous actually.

Do you own a camera phone?
I do. It isn't turned on, because I don't need a cell phone.

What’s the last letter of your middle name?
é.

How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
It depends on how late I stay up reading. If I'm smart and go to sleep when my kids do, I'd get about 8 or 9 hours. But I'm to stubborn to do that. Instead I stay up online, or reading.....so I get like 6 or 7 if I'm lucky.

Do you like Care Bears?
How many adults do you know that are fans of Care Bears? Really? Well I'm not one of them.

What do you buy at the movies?
I don't go to the movies. Unless it's a movie I'm dying to see. Like...I will be going to see New Moon. What will I buy? The ticket.

Do you know how to play poker?
No.

Do you wear your seat belt?
Yes. You see...as an atheist...oh forget it. I know this is my only shot at life...I'd like to better my chances of surviving it as long as possible.

How many meals do you eat a day?
Two or three. Maybe a snack here and there.

Do you like funny or serious people better?
Both. I think everyone should have a sense of humor, but there are situations that require one to be serious.

Ever been to L.A.?
No.

Did you eat a cookie today?
No, I did not actually. I baked cookies two days in a row. If I see another cookie I might just hurl.

Do you hate chocolate?
Yes, if it's just plain solid chocolate. I do like some things that are chocolate. Like candy bars. But not cake or ice cream...or anything like that.

Are you a gullible person?
No, not at all. I rarely believe anything anyone tells me. If there's a way to prove it, I usually try to figure it out. Otherwise, I'm always skeptical.

Are you easy to get along with?
I think so. But many people would probably disagree. haha.

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Taking a minute to whine like a little whiner.

2009-09-25T22:07:00.002-05:00

Some things shouldn't bother me, but they do. I know good and well as they're bothering me that they shouldn't bother me, but I can't seem to shake the fact that they do bother me.

I know I'm being completely vague, but I'm irritated, and there is no point in calling people out. Where would that get me? I try to stay out of the drama, remember?

This is a message to anyone I know personally.

The next time you whine to someone else about how I'm 'stuck up' and never call, take a step back and ask yourself when was the last time you called me. Yeah, think about that.

Ah...to use my computer...?
To try to borrow money?

I'm confident that this will be the most popular answer:

You haven't taken the initiative to call me. It's always the other way around. Or we haven't talked in months.

There's a reason I never call or send you messages. Because I'm tired of everyone only contacting me when it benefits them in some way. I'm sick of being the go-to for computer needs, but no one is there to talk to me when I need someone to talk to.

I'm being selfish right now, I realize that--so there is no need for you to say it.

Those who I'm not referring to, know better than me saying this about them. If you're having doubts, I'm probably referring to you too.

For those of you who think I should come to you at your leisure, and be there when you need me, but don't think it's necessary to be there when I need you....I only have on thing to say to you.

Go to hell. (Assuming that there is one, of course.)

And if there isn't, well then, just keep my damn name out of your vocabulary. You have no right to talk shit about me when you don't even know me anymore.

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Finally, I felt like reading.

2009-09-23T16:56:00.002-05:00

I started reading a book last night. Not because I felt I needed to, but because I actually wanted to. I've read a lot of it today, and I'm about two thirds of the way through it.

Finally.

Also, I found out, via Stephenie Meyer's website, that The Host is being made into a movie. How effing exciting is that? I'm stoked.

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Creative dryspell nearing an end?

2009-09-21T12:33:00.003-05:00

Maybe.

I feel like drawing today...a little.
I also feel like reading, but evidentally not enough to pick up a book.
BLAH!

What is wrong with me? Garsh.

I sometimes wonder if I'm losing myself. I put all of my effort into what I do, as I should. I'm a mother, and a stay at home mother at that. I'm Mommy, 24/7. There is never a Me-Moment. I'm fine with that.

Usually.

But lately I feel like maybe I'm losing sight of who I am. The desire to do the things I love to do, the things that make me me, are slowly fading. I'm hoping today is a turning point. The fact that I actually feel like doing something for a change is a step forward I suppose.

Maybe this computer is my problem. Instead of leaving it alone to do something else, I spend what little free time I have on the internet. Doing nothing important.

I think tomorrow I'll leave it off. Completely. Not even turn it on. Then maybe I can focus on finishing one of the two drawings I have waiting for me. Or read one of the five books that are due back in less than two weeks.

Think I can do it? We'll see I guess.

THIS IS MY 100TH POST! Doesn't seem like it...

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When religious figures attack.

2009-09-19T18:51:00.002-05:00

MSNBC is reporting, a female pastor has been jailed for abusing her five adopted daughters.

She recieved two consecutive life sentences. I think it's about time they actually punish someone for abusing kids. In this case, she didn't recieve a slap on the wrist like they usually do.

But why not? It's rare that a child abuser of any kind does hard time for their crimes.

Here's my issue with this. The woman is 65 years old. She would be lucky to survive one of those life sentences, let alone both. Is that why they gave her this sentence? Because they're confident she won't have to actually spend too many more years in prison before she dies?

She deserves worse. She deserves to die in prison. But I don't think the remainder of her life is enough suffering for her crimes. But it's the only way.

Are we surprised that she was a pastor? There seem to be many cases when pastors get caughting abusing children. Whether it be their own, or someone else's. That's not to say all pastors are child abusers, but we can't deny the fact that this is not uncommon among them.

I'm not religious. But I imagine people who trust pastors with their children, truly believe as a man or woman of god, they will treat their kids the way kids should be treated. That's what you would expect from someone claiming to be holy, right? But it's not often the case. They are abused more often than not, and yet parents continue to trust these religious figures.

Do you truly have that much faith in your god? That he would stop it from happening to your child? What happens when it IS your child next time?

In this case, these children were adopted the predator. But that is rarely the case. Furthermore, I'm sure she would've abused someone else's children, had her own not been there.

When will it end? When will the world realize that religion causes many more problems than it solves?

***Leave me a comment and I'll view and comment your blog. :) ***

Atheists, you aren't alone.

2009-09-19T14:21:00.007-05:00

Nearly ten whole minutes of celebrities who share the same views as us atheists. I posted this because I know only a handful of atheists personally. The ones I do know, don't like to talk about religion. I personally enjoy discussing it, because it affects each and every one of us, every single day. Apparently some people don't care about that.

That's not to say I'm an atheist advocate. And I'm not going to try to get someone who believes to become an atheist. But I don't think any choices should be made blindly.

That's just my opinion of course. I have a lot of those, don't I?

I'll be the first to admit, I have no idea who some of these people are. However, there is a massive list online of celebrity atheists, but there are also many agnostics that aren't included in this video.

***Leave me a comment and I'll view and comment your blog. :) ***

Carrie Prejean at Values Voters Summit.

2009-09-19T13:38:00.006-05:00

If you enjoy the urge to dig your ear drums out with an icepick, click here to view the rest of this bigot's speech at the Values Voters Summit.

I want to address a few points this blond bimbo made during this portion of her speech. I haven't watched the other two portions, so who knows, she may say something stupid enough for me to speak out against in those as well. Here goes.

1. "I never let that get to my head, but I was confident. I did see me competing for Miss Universe. I did see that coming.".....Um, that's letting it get to your head sweetheart. Hoping for it, not so much. "Seeing it coming", yes, that's letting it get to your head.

2. Miss USA wanted you? Yes, because you're slightly attractive, and you happened to win Miss California. Needed you? I think you're overstating your worth a bit my dear. It's a beauty pageant.

3. "I feel as though I'm Miss UNIVERSE." But you're not. You're a pageant contestant that lost because you're a bigot. You're being made a hero by the republican party because you're a poster child for their bigotry. Nice.

4. "God chose me for that moment....he knew that I would be able to get through all of the junk that I have been through." You've been through "junk" because you agree with taking away rights from people that are none of your concern. You deserved that "junk", as does anyone else who believes gay marriage should be outlawed.

5. "Why me? A twenty year old young woman?" Because you're a bigot. Age and gender has nothing to do with that fact.

6. "Who had the courage and the bravery that not many people have." Yeah, or not everyone is a christian radical such as yourself.

7. "I live in the greatest country in the world." Have you been to another country? Hmm, something tells me you probably have not. Most of the world hates America, by the way. Only foolish Americans believe this is the greatest country in the world without even visiting another country.

8. "I'm not really into politics, at least I wasn't at the time." Right, and because the right wing is excepting you because they share your common hatred for people who don't agree with them, you're suddenly "into" politics? Please. Learn something before you pick sides. Though it wouldn't be necessary, I am sure you'd still fit in perfectly with the right wing.

9. "I am disgusted at the way some people can be so intolerant." This one is quite possibly my favorite. You're saying you think a certain group of people (homosexuals) shouldn't allowed to get married because "god" doesn't want it? And THEY'RE the ones being intolerant? All they want is the same rights you have. You're the intolerant one...but you're too self-centered to realize that.

10. "Even though I didn't win the crown that night, I know that the lord has so much of a bigger crown waiting in heaven for me." Ha. That one is amusing. Is that what heaven's about then? God supposedly giving you the things you don't deserve? Well I'm sorry, no one will be bowing down to you in reality Queen Carrie. But whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day....

***Leave me a comment and I'll view and comment your blog. :) ***

Why I'm interested in politics.

2009-09-17T22:35:00.002-05:00

Some people wonder why I'm so interested in our politics. They think, things will end up the way they end no matter what we think....so they ignore it. I can't do that.

Why? Because when there's someone as ignorant as Michelle Bachmann aiding in making the decisions of our country, I want to know the details.

***Leave me a comment and I'll view and comment your blog. :) ***

Online arguments, the equivalent of?....

2009-09-17T21:59:00.002-05:00

We need to come up with a better analogy that the infamous "Arguing online is like the Special Olypmics, even if you lose, you're still a retard."

I DO NOT like that. I find it rather offensive.

So we need a new one. Any suggestions? hmm...

The whole point is, arguing online is ridiculous. I'm all for a healthy debate, but I'm not going to have a petty argument in cyber space. It's completely, forgive me, retarded.

***Leave me a comment and I'll view and comment your blog. :) ***

Police say "no evidence" supporting Rifqa Bary's claims.

2009-09-17T11:56:00.003-05:00

The police have investigated, and found no evidence supporting the claims she made, regarding her fathers threats to kill her for converting to christianity.

Evidence? I'm sorry, what did the expect? To find it in writing? What evidence would there be to prove something someone said?

That being said, do we believe her? I'm not sure. The way I see it, this could have gone two ways.

He threatened to kill her when he found out her plans, and she ran away to avoid death...

OR

She ran away and the police found her, so she chose to play on the Islam stereo-types to try to justify her actions.

Here's the thing. The girl claims she had to hide her cheerleading activities due to fear of her father finding out and punishing her. Let's assume those pictures of her in her cheerleading outfit displayed in her parents' house were placed there after she ran away.

Still yet, the parents would have to know about their daughter cheerleading.
A. High school cheerleading is not free. Where did she get the money if they hadn't known?
B. Cheerleading takes up massive amounts of time. Where would her parents have thought she was all the time?

If her parents were as hardcore as she claims, I'm sure they would have paid enough attention to her activities to know that she was doing something this significant. This isn't a case where the daughter is secretly listening to rap on her headphones in the privacy of her bedroom.

If what she says about them is true, there is no possible way they did not know about her cheerleading activities.

So where does this leave her story? I don't know. And I don't think we should know. This is a private matter, and I believe it should be treated as such. There has to be something more important to report about, right?

What a sick joke.

2009-09-17T11:43:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if this was intended to be a joke or not, but it's rather disturbing.

A band of indians asked their federal government for H1N1 kits, and instead they recieved.........body bags.

Horrible.

Teen birth rates higher in the more religious states.

2009-09-17T11:10:00.004-05:00

A study was performed at Drexel University College of Medicine and University of Pittsburgh, revealing that states with a higher religiosity, tend to have a higher teen birth rate.

I find it rather amusing, actually. Deeply religious people are constantly frowning upon teen pregnancy. And they should. I was a teen mother. I know how hard it is, and teenager girls should know how hard it is, so they try to avoid it.

So why the higher rates in religious states?

A contributing factor, as the survey suggests, is that religion often frowns upon the use of contraception. It seems plausible. But teen sex is teen sex, regardless of whether or not you're using contraception. So it leaves me wondering, what do these parents think? They teach their kids that contraception is bad, and end up with a teenage daughter (or son) pregnant. Does it cause them to rethink their teachings? I doubt it. My guess is, they force their kids into a teenage marriage, that is bound to fail.

Another reason, I believe, is that religious families often push their daughters into early marriages. Or they approve the early marriages that their children want. So they sign the paper, allowing it to happen. Thus, we end up with a sixteen year old wife, with a baby.

So somehow, it is believed that marriage makes it better? It's still a teen pregnancy, regardless of the piece of paper binding those teenagers. This country is so extremely twisted.

8 years is the max sentence for rape?

2009-09-16T18:04:00.004-05:00

A millionaire car exporter recieved the maximum sentence of eight years, for raping and having sex with underage orphans. He took them from their orphanage, to an apartment to have sex with, or rape them.

Eight years. Are you serious?

But it doesn't end there. He also helped finance an online child-sex ring website.

Eight years....

What does it say about our country, when a man can rape and have sex with underage girls, helps fund a child sex website, and only gets eight years. All the while, men and women such as Gloria Van Winkle are getting the maximum sentences for drug posession? She didn't just get the maximum sentence for drug possession, she got life in prison for drug possession. Not sales. Possession.

Wow. All I can do is laugh.

2009-09-15T13:36:00.001-05:00

Hahahaha. These people are so ridiculous, it's actually becoming humorous.

Kanye West and Joe Wilson. One in the same?

2009-09-13T23:50:00.005-05:00

Are you two forming some sort of secret Inappropriate Outburst Club that we should know about?

My opinion? You're both douche bags.

We can only hope they both just committed career suicide. (Wishful thinking, right?)

And we don't accept either of your apologies. Nice try though!

Disgusted with our Country.

2009-09-13T15:08:00.004-05:00

Image Via Flickr.

One of the many signs held at the 9/12 rally in Washington, DC.
I'm seriously thinking...this country is nothing to be proud of. It's filled with hate, and I'm sick of it. It's getting worse. It'll never change. I honestly do not want to live here anymore.

The Atheist Blogroll

2009-09-13T11:24:00.004-05:00

I joined The Atheist Blogroll. You can see the Atheist Blogroll over there on my side bar. → → →
The Atheist Blogroll's a free service provided to atheist/agnostic bloggers, to help build the community.
Visit Mojoey @ Deep Thoughts if you want the details on how to join.

Seriously. DO IT!
(If you're an atheist/ agnostic blogger, of course.)

Blag Hag: Anti-Porn event - emotional appeals and dangerous misinformation

2009-09-12T18:30:00.000-05:00

Quite an interesting post:

Blag Hag: Anti-Porn event - emotional appeals and dangerous misinformation

Why do I heart Keith Olbermann?

2009-09-12T10:42:00.002-05:00

I love MSNBC. Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews, and Ed. They're so entertaining, and I almost always agree with them. This is a perfect example of why I heart Olbermann.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Is this how they're celebrating the upcoming premiere of "Vampire Diaries"?

2009-09-11T22:02:00.004-05:00

Four stars of Vampire Diaries were arrested in August for apparently, flashing motorists from a bridge, during a photoshoot?

Why?
What could be gained from that?

Furthermore, who reported them? Most people would've been happy to pass that story along...how often do you see a star flash you as you're driving by?

Never.

Gosh. I just watched your show last night dammit! I'm hooked! Now show a little decency. At least until you're a few episodes into the series. Damn! It's a bit early to be acting out already, don't cha think?

Has our country lost its desire to learn?

2009-09-11T13:21:00.006-05:00

I am frequently asked (both online, and in life), how I'm happy as an atheist. How can I possibly be happy without God in my life? My simple answer is, point me in his direction, and maybe I'll rethink my choices. No, not in the direction of the bible. And don't tell me to pray. Point me in HIS direction. Like, seriously. Where is he?

I don't need an imaginary being to pray to in times of need. That's what people are for. Real life, in the flesh, shoulder to cry on people.

Losing people I love does suck. And it has happened to me enough to last a lifetime, and I'm only twenty. So, people ask how I cope with that. Without God? Without the belief that I'll see those people again someday?

I grieve. And I move on with my life, missing that person. It is hard facing the facts; that our last encounter was truly our last, but I refuse to delude myself into believing in something that doesn't exist to help myself cope. I refuse to lie to myself.

Moving on....lets get to the point of this post.

I am proud to be an American, though it may not seem so. I have many issues with the way our country is run--issues that are set apart from the regular democrat vs republican war.

The truth is, regardless of what party is in office, they base many of their decisions on their faith. This country acts as if separation of church and state does not exist. The only time it is put into action is involving schools. Which I am grateful for, because I wouldn't want my kids being taught about god, when they're there to learn academics. But how would the politicians feel if a teacher refused to teach anything that went outside their personal beliefs? I'm sure they are forced to do so on a regular basis, which is only right. If they wanted to teach their beliefs, they should be teaching Sunday school.

So why is it different for our political leaders? Why do they get to base decisions on their personal beliefs?

Our rights are taken away from us daily. I don't mean things that are against the law, most laws are enforced for a good reason. (with the exception of marijuana being illegal, but that's for another time.)

Rights such as, gay marriage. There is no reason it should be outlawed. The only reason it is, is because the bible says it's wrong. Okay, lets ignore the fact that the bible is nothing more than a four thousand year old fairy tale. Lets assume the bible is true, and it is the word of a god. It still should not be used, to make decisions for mass amounts of people. There are millions of people living in this country who are not Christians, or christian affiliated. Even those who believe in their own god, have to play by the rules of those who believe in the christian god. It's disgraceful.

Blind faith confuses me. I can't understand how people can just assume there is a higher power, worship him, and refuse to accept the possibility that maybe, just maybe, god isn't the answer.

When you blind yourself with your god theory, you're shutting out any other possibilities that may have put us here. There is evidence to support the possibility that we came to be in another way, and absolutely no evidence to support the fact that god put us here.

Evolution is an observed theory. We have watched it happen, and no one can deny that evolution exists. You don't have to agree that evolution put humans on earth, but you can't deny the evidence that supports the theory of evolution.

But you do deny it. Because it discounts the possibility that your god exists. And because your bible says so, you shut out anything that may place doubt on your god's existence.

I think it's about time this country realizes that their faith may be nothing more than just that. Faith in a fairy tale.

President Obama Addresses Congress, Rude Republicans!

2009-09-10T10:26:00.006-05:00

Okay, I understand if someone doesn't have the same policies, or believe in the same policies as our president. (We had to deal with Bush, we know how you feel Right Wing.)

For an adult of any merit to boo the President is disgraceful, but for members of our Congress to boo him? That just makes me embarrassed to be American.

(Seriously, it makes me want to move to England. Not kidding.)

What's worse than booing him?

As Obama talked about how his plan would not cover illegal immigrants, South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson, yells "You lie!".
...
......
........

Did someone miss their midevening snack?

........
......
...

But now of course, they are back tracking. It seems as though the Republican party has been doing far more back tracking than pedaling forward in the past few years. When will they realize their best bet is to probably keep their mouth shut before they open it?

There is no doubt that this could quite possibly push those who were caught in the middle onto Obama's side.

But just in case, Wilson has decided to issue an apology:

“This evening I let my emotions get the best of me when listening to the
President’s remarks regarding the coverage of illegal immigrants in the health
care bill. While I disagree with the President’s statement, my comments were
inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the President for
this lack of civility.”
Click
here for the article on Politico.

Look. It has been almost a year since the Republicans lost their reign in the White House. Isn't it time to move on? Still spreading rumors about his birth certificate, and disagreeing with every single thing that comes out of his mouth? Get over it.

(You couldn't have at least clapped when he said that he believed it was wrong for the insurance companies to drop people mid-treatment for some ridiculous reason? He wasn't right about that? Are you people that upset over losing?)

Do we accept his apology? Maybe we would...if it were sincere. Or if he even made an effort to make it seem sincere. But he's just doing what he feels he has to, to save his ass. Lets just hope this time people don't buy into their bullshit.

By people, I mean the other members of Congress. Here's the thing, I honestly believe that Republican Americans are praising this man for speaking out.
(During a conference. In front of the entire country. Rudely.)
So they're probably more upset that he issued this fake apology, than the Right Wing are about how this could damage their argument.

Time will tell.
Do you accept his apology?

Waiting for the phase to pass....

2009-09-09T12:17:00.003-05:00

These last couple of days have been strange for me. Actually, let's go ahead and make that the last week has been strange for me.
I don't want to do anything. At least, not anything that interests me.
On a normal basis, I can rarely go a couple of days without either drawing or reading something. Lately, I don't want to either. At all. I have a stack of books in the other room, screaming "I'm due back the eighteenth...", and I can't bring myself to pick them up. Occasionally I try, and the sentences blur together, making absolutely no sense to me.
I don't want to draw either. I've had the same picture in progress for a couple of weeks, but just like the books, it just sits there. Waiting for me to get through this damn phase.
It's driving me crazy.
I'm trying to figure out why.....
Am I sleeping too much? Not enough?
Am I eating enough? Am I lacking a certain nutrient? Do I need to drink a lot more water?
My brain just feels so blah. I have written a little bit, so I can't really group it in with the other two in my *where is the desire hiding?* category. But I still don't have a very significant desire to do that.
I locked the world out yesterday. I just needed a day to shut everyone out, and seclude myself with me and my kids.
I normally do that anyways, in the sense that I rarely go anywhere. But I always answer the phone, and I always have y! messenger going just in case.
But not yesterday. I didn't answer the phone when it rang, I didn't even open y! messenger. I didn't respond to any emails or comments.....I literally ignored everything outside these walls.
It was refreshing, but not good enough. It wasn't enough to get me through this little funk.
I just get so sick of signing into myspace, and reading my "friends" status comments.
Few of my friends on myspace are truly my friends, and many of those who aren't were seriously starting to annoy me.
The whining. Omg, the whining. Constantly. About things in their control. "I'm too fat"...."My life sucks..." Blah, blah, blah.

They don't realize how good they have it.

A friend's daughter passed away, she has every reason to be upset. While others are whining about someone talking shit about them.
GET OVER IT. It could be worse. Like you could've lost one of the most important people in your life, such as a child.

I just don't understand some people, so I felt it was necessary to shut the world out. Everyone. No exceptions.

I don't think it was a good idea. All I did was thinking about my life growing up, which is something I try not to do. It upsets me, and I try to be happy, because things are great for me right now. But sometimes, nostalgia creeps up on me, but not in a good way.

The problem is, I don't blame those who were the source of the things that bother me. It just makes me resent everyone else I know, because most of them don't know how good they have it. They've had good lives, in the sense that they were provided for, but they still find something that makes their lives miserable.

There are things that I've seen and gone through, that no one knows about.
I don't tell anyone these things. I don't want pity. I've done everything in my power to get out of that scene, and for the most part, I have succeeded.

Just because I don't talk about it, doesn't mean I don't think about it.

And when you're complaining about things your mother won't buy you and things of that nature, just know this: you're eating, and that's more than I could've said when I was still living at home.

Surprise! Life is not perfect.

2009-09-07T21:27:00.003-05:00

I'm not perfect.
You aren't perfect.
Christians aren't perfect (contrary to their own popular belief).
Atheists aren't perfect.
Muslims aren't perfect.
Buddhists aren't perfect.
Republicans aren't perfect.
Democrats aren't perfect.

(See a pattern?)
No one is perfect. That is not something you can expect out of life.

There are no perfect people. There is no perfect place. You'll never have a perfect day.
It doesn't matter what your life is like, and who you surround yourself with. The fact is: the world is not a perfect place. Get it?

We can however, get as close to perfection as we're able to. How do we do that?
We take charge of our own damn lives. Stop bitching and complaining about things that are in our control.

Don't like how someone treats you? Don't go around 'em.
Don't like who you live with? Move out.
Don't like not having money? Get a job. (provided you can find one in this shit hole economy.)

We're grown, right? Act like it.

That Endless Quest for Attention.

2009-09-07T21:09:00.004-05:00

It occurred to me that sometimes even the most subtle remarks may be a quest for attention. Little things that most people would ignore, or scrunch their eyebrows together and say "Um, okay...?", and move on.

(I see it. The quest for attention, it may be more obvious than one may think.)

It's all about paying attention to the little things. I'll be the first to admit I'm not usually quick to do so. If someone isn't very important in my life, I tend to vaguely notice them.

Then of course, when you are important, I notice everything. Though I may not call attention to it, and just because you may not come out and say it, doesn't mean I don't get it.

There are people around everyone that care about them, no matter the degree in which they care, the fact is; there are a few that care more than you may realize. Focus on those few. When shutting out the entire world, think about the ones that care.

Oh...how good it feels to be an atheist right now...

2009-09-06T23:56:00.001-05:00

I love when the hypocrisy is captured on camera. Such a beautiful thing.

Holy Migraine....

2009-09-06T22:29:00.001-05:00

Judging by the title, you can probably assume I am currently suffering from a migraine. It's a mild migraine at this point, but it sucks none the less.
Still yet, I am online. Probably not helping much....looking at this screen. But reading would probably be worse.
So, in checking my mail, an article popped up on yahoo's front page.
It was titled something like "Have a headache? Eat these foods?"
Coincidence? Why, of course. What else could it be?
To some extreme fundies, it would probably be considered a sign from their imaginary friend they call God.
Hmmm, I'll go with coincidence.
Nonetheless, there's an article about foods that could possibly trigger headaches.

And towards the bottom....
Well whatdya know? I had pizza for dinner....

Click here to see the article.

-Amanda

Why I want to write.

2009-09-03T22:35:00.000-05:00

I feel like every form of art has a voice. No matter what you're doing, you're expressing yourself through something that basically has it's own language. It's a beautiful thing.

You know when you're reading a book, or watching a movie, and it's amazing until the end. And then you sit there thinking...WTF just happened? Did they seriously just end it like that. Are you kidding me? *cough*lakeviewterrace*cough*

Writing makes me feel...in control. You can create and destroy worlds how you see fit, and no one can tell you you're wrong in doing so. It's your work. If you don't like the way something's going, change it. If you don't like the way a character is developing, kill him/her off. That simple right?
Wrong.
My problem is this. I have trouble accepting my own work. It's always in the back of my mind, eating at me. "No one will ever want to read this." It makes me sick.
There's a brick wall blocking my imagination, and I need to figure out how to break it down. I know there's something lurking there. Well, I hope there is.

So...back to the point. Why do I want to write? Because everything that's beautiful in this world (that doesn't come naturally of course, like kids :] ) starts with a pen and paper. There is nothing better than a good book. Nothing. I want to be the one writing those books.

Dear Perez Hilton,

2009-09-03T09:26:00.004-05:00

I used to like you. I found your junk mildly entertaining (note, I said mildly). You are witty on occasion, I'll give you that.
But if your love for Lady Gaga isn't enough, your hatred for Joss Stone and Kristen Stewart is just sad. What do you have against them?
I believe your animosity towards Kristen is simply because you want Rob Pattinson's body, and lets face it, she has it. But one day you love Rob, the next he's "gross"....

Are you menopausal? They make pills for those mood swings you know.

But why do you really get on my nerves? Because you're the only effing reliable place to stay updated on stupid crap that none of us should care about, yet we all do.

So. I hate contributing to your "success" by giving you page hits because I have to see what's going on in the world out of my ridiculous curiousity.
Grrr....I hate your face.

Sincerely,
Amanda

Blind Faith.

2009-09-02T16:03:00.008-05:00

***Some of you may find this ridiculous. Many may be offended. Some may not get the message. Either way, it isn't my intention to offend anyone. I have my beliefs, you have yours. I still love you. This is just another writing activity.***

Forget everything you ever knew about Santa Claus.
What if I told you Santa Claus was real?

When I was eleven, I was in a desperate place. I was a greedy little child. I felt like the world revolved around me. Every eleven year old thinks that way, right?

I was walking alone in the dark alley I called home. It was behind a line of restaurants. I chose this place because it was my only hope for eating. Do you have any idea how much food is thrown away each night in these dark alleys, left for scavenging animals? You would be amazed.

Or you wouldn’t care. The average American doesn’t think much about those who go without.

I spent my days in a park. I sat on the benches in my dirty clothes, with my ratty hair, and no one ever approached me. Were they afraid? Of an eleven year old girl? Or did they just turn the other cheek, assuming my parents just didn’t care?

Maybe that was the truth. Maybe they didn’t care. Who were my parents? I didn’t remember them. I had been alone as long as I could remember. But an eleven year old’s memory doesn’t go back that far. Who knows where I came from.

I was sitting in the park one day, when a mother brought her two small children to play. I wasn’t sure of their ages, but I could see the mother was trying to keep them away from me.

A woman walking a dog stopped to let the children pet it. The little girl looked up to her mommy and said “Mommy, do you think Santa will bring me a puppy for Christmas?”

The woman thought for a moment before answer. “Put a puppy on your wish list when we get home, and we’ll see what Santa Claus thinks, okay?”

I didn’t hear the rest of the conversation. I couldn’t stop thinking about “Santa Claus”. Who was this person? What was Christmas?

Most important, he’s who you go to, to get what you want?

I did my rounds that night sluggishly. I knew so little about life, and yet I fought for my own. Would I ever have a mother such as theirs? One that may someday buy me a puppy?

I went to bed that night, and talked to him. I looked up into the stars, and imagined what Santa Claus looked like, and imagined that he was staring back at me.

I asked him for a warm place to sleep. I asked him for someone to care about me. I asked him for brothers and sisters. I asked him to give me something, anything, to push me forward. Give me a reason to live in this world.

I heard nothing.

I woke the next morning to a shadow hovering over me. A man stared down at me with confusion. He was wearing a suit, and there were cops standing behind him.

Was I in trouble? My first instinct was to run, but something told me that was a bad idea.

“What’s your name young lady?” The man asked.

“Sarah.”

“Do you have a last name, Sarah?”

“No, I don’t think so.” I admitted, ashamed.

The man turned and looked at the two cops. The cops shook their head simultaneously.

“I’m going to need you to come with me.” The man ordered, and extended his hand to help me to my feet. I followed.

I was taken to the police station and asked several questions. Such as; who are my parents, where did I come from, what’s the last thing I remember. And so on.

I knew the answer to none of these. I knew my first name, and I wasn’t even sure if I was right about that. It was the first thing that came to mind.

They realized they were getting nowhere with questioning me.

“We’re going to take you to a place with some other kids just like you, is that okay?”

Other kids?
“Sure.” I said, my excitement showing.

The kids in this place accepted me. I was one of them. They didn’t look at me like they wanted to run away like the kids in the part. They were my friends.

Until my mother and father came. Well, my new mother and father.

They took me home with them. They had two other kids. I had a brother and a sister. I had a family. Something I dreamed of, but never thought was possible.

I had my own room. The walls were pink, with a matching blanket on my white bed.

I had a television. I had art supplies.

I had food. Food that wasn’t the garbage restaurants thought wasn’t good enough for its customers. A real, home cooked meal.

Most importantly, I was loved. I was a part of something wonderful. I was happy.

I had Santa to thank for that. I asked him, and he gave me all of this.

People tried to tell me he wasn’t real over the years. That he was a fairy tale. Just some guy someone made up. A symbol of Christmas.

I don’t believe them.

In my time of need, I asked him for help, and all of this happened. How could I deny that it was him? I would be a fool to not believe. I would not betray by denying him.

The end.
Silly, silly girl?
Wrong.
It’s called blind faith.
Look around. It’s everywhere.

They believe in God.

© 2009 Amanda Harris

The ups and downs of a second baby.

2009-09-02T10:49:00.002-05:00

Okay, so in reality, there are no real downers to having a second child. But it definitely changes some things.
My daughters knows what she can and can't touch around the house. But since baby boy is learning those rules, she thinks it means she gets to learn them as well. Or, maybe she is trying to get baby boy in trouble intentionally. Either way, I have to watch her just as closely as him these days.
The potty training is going nowhere. I suspect it's because she wants to be able to wear diapers like the baby. So I am not having an ounce of luck with that.
But seeing her up and walking and talking, makes him want to get up and around. He started crawling fairly quickly, and he's already trying to walk, at eight months old.
Now if I can just keep them both out of the plants, off the tables, and make sure she doesn't sneak him anything he can't eat quite yet, things would be a piece of cake.

When will my 'crazy' emanate?

2009-09-01T14:42:00.002-05:00

It's only a matter of time. I love my parents to death, but lets face it, both sides of my family are filled with crazies.
I'm sure I'm already midly crazy. I have no problem staying in the house [most of the time], I'm not a big fan of sunlight. I don't like to be hot unnecessarily. Who would?
But beautiful autumn days when the temperature barely reaches 75, and the sun plays hide and seek with the clouds; that's my kind of day.
I don't like large crowds. I'm not really even a fan of small crowds. I like to have a select few people around me, but that's it.
Family gatherings make me nervous. There is bound to be someone around that I don't like, and if it's at my house, I'm ready to pounce on the first person that puts even the smallest stain in my carpet.
I'm not a fan of stains. They're like nats. They show up out of nowhere, draw your attention, and get on your nerves until you finally do something about it.
Anyways, back to topic.
I'm bound to be crazy. I'm sure it's just lurking behind a wall in the back of my brain waiting for something to happen that cracks that wall, then it'll come barreling out in full force. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Haha.

Attention Whores.

2009-09-01T13:51:00.005-05:00

There are some people I just do not understand. Maybe it's because I choose to immerse myself in an isolate world consisting of me and my kids. Or maybe it's because I am irritated by humans in general. But people who do ridiculous things for attention make me want to jump through the television and kick them in their forehead.
I actually envision it happening.
I'm serious.
Whether it be a certain reality tv family who has 18 kids and another way, or a certain blonde bimbo wearing a shirt that says "Real Girls Eat Meat", or that other reality show that subjects their eight kids to camera crews on a daily basis, so much so that the kids no longer notice. Or an octomom who has plastic surgery to make herself resemble Angelina Jolie, and denies she ever had any. Has 14 kids, gets on welfare, gets her own reality show in the works but bashes that other mother of eight for wanting "attention".
It makes someone shaving their head and hitting a car with an umbrella seem insignificant.
I don't understand why people can't just live their lives and be happy without the entire world watching them. Why would you want that sort of attention?
I'll never understand why a person would want cameras following them around everyday, waiting for them to eat at McDonalds so they can paste it on the front of the latest Inquirer magazine and claim the person is binging due to depression from a break up with another famous boyfriend, a relationship which never truly existed.
We're all insignificant. When we die, we may be remembered, but people will eventually forget. Or they will no longer care. Someone bigger and better will come along and Rob Pattinson will take the place of Ben Affleck, who took the place of Sean Connery and the worlds goes on in its endless cycles until one day the sun gets too close the earth and the worlds comes to a tragic end.
Can't we all just be happy with the life we were given instead of trying to create an image to better ourselves? I'm not one for self-deprecation, but I'm capable of living my life without being in the middle of drama.
Whatever happened to doing something good for humanity to make people remember you by?

Okay, so that was a bit of a rant. And I'm done now. Thanks for reading. :)

Five Years Old. One Day.

2009-08-31T09:18:00.004-05:00

I was dreaming.
I had to be dreaming.
I awoke to a familiar smell. Breakfast. But who was cooking it?
I sat up in a little white bed, surrounded in stuffed animals. The room looked familiar. Some of the best moments of my life were spent in a room such as this. But that was years ago. That was when I was a child.
The similarities were uncanny. In the far corner of the little room, sat a brown gorilla. It was stuffed, of course. I had one like it when I was a child. I was terrified of it. It had little black eyes that followed you wherever you went. I remember running past it as I left my room as a child, because I was convinced one day the thing would grab me.
It never did.
I climbed slowly out of the bed, afraid of what might happen if I did. I had never had a dream this vivid. I’d never had a dream when I had my own thoughts and felt things as if it were one hundred percent reality.
As I stood, I realized I wasn’t much taller than the bed I had climbed out of. Out of habit, I pulled the cover to my pillow, making the bed.
My hands….they were so small. And my skin was smooth again. I looked down and realized, everything else was small as well.
I was a child again.
My hair hung loosely in my face, a shade of blonde I forgot I’d ever had.
It was beautiful. When did it change?
I walked slowly through the house, taking in my surroundings. I knew this place. I had lived here. Back when life was easy and I had no worries. When the most important people of my childhood were still alive.
I followed the smell of food to the kitchen. Tears stung the corners of my eyes as I realized who was cooking. She turned to face me, her smile reaching her eyes.
“Your milk’s on the table.”
I wasn’t sure how to react. Every nerve in my body was lurching forward, yearning to hug her.
My grandmother. My best friend.
But I stood still. I wasn’t five. I was in a five year old’s body, but I had the mind of a twenty year old. How would she react if I reacted on impulse? Would she think I was crazy? Could someone think that of a five year old?
I didn’t want to find out. I didn’t want to disappoint her. Not even in my dreams.
I turned swiftly and ran to the bathroom. Of course it was familiar. I did live here. There was no denying where I was.
I sat staring at the green and white pattern I hadn’t realized it was possible to miss. But I did miss it. Because it was her. Only she would have such décor in a bathroom, and it still looked amazing.
I took a deep breath before leaving the bathroom and joining her in the kitchen. I had to. Who knew when I would wake up?
I sat at the table quietly. She sat a plate of scrambled eggs in front of me. I smiled. How did I used to eat these?
Right. Ketchup. Of course, it was already on the table.
I ate in silence. I could think of nothing to say. All the things I wish I would’ve said before she died, yet here I sit. Speechless.
She watched M.A.S.H quietly, drinking her coffee. She never was much for small talk.
“Where’s Don?” The words were out of my mouth as soon as I thought them.
She looked puzzled before answering, “He’s at work.”
I should’ve known that. Of course.
The birds chirped from the living room as I continued to eat. They were irritating me. It had been a long time since I had been around birds. How could I, or anyone else, have gotten used to that constant noise?
Dog walked up and laid his head in my lap. I laid my hand on his head lightly, cautiously. He had a quick temper, one that I would never forget. He stood staring at me with those big brown eyes. Not moving. Just staring, like he always did. So sweet.
Why was this happening to me? My mind is creating a dream that I knew would crush me when I woke up. But there was nothing I could do. Pinching my arm, I felt that. Everything was so real, so vivid. How long would it last?
“How’d you sleep?” My grandma asked as M.A.S.H ended.
“Okay I guess.”
I spent the rest of the day right next to her. She seemed confused by my behavior, but she didn’t question it. We watched M.A.S.H, Bonanza, and Gunsmoke for the entire day.
I was happy. I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t woken up from this amazing dream, but for one day, I she was alive. She was here, in the flesh. I took her for granted when she was alive, but whatever time I had as five year old again, I was going to cherish.
Don came home, and as usual, spent his time on the computer. That was him, that was what he did.
I never asked about Ayla, and I never saw her. Ayla was my grandma’s dog, and any day now, she would be bringing her home. But not yet, apparently.
Dog stayed at my side. I enjoyed that. It was nice to have him there again. He was gone too. When I woke up, I would never see him again either.
I had a horrible feeling when she tucked me into bed that night. This time I knew I would never see her again.
I kissed her goodnight, and told her I loved her. Something I didn’t get to do in real life.
Would I ever see her again? I didn’t think so. Not in this life, and not in an afterlife that didn’t exist. This was it for us. It’s a terrible truth, but the truth all the same.
She left my room happy. Like she always did. She was always happy, even when times were their worst, you could count her to be smiling.
I don’t remember falling asleep. I fought it. I didn’t want the dream to end. It was too great. She wasn’t in the room any longer, but she was in this house. Alive. I would stare at that scary gorilla forever as long as she was here. But that wasn’t reality. It was a dream. And all dreams had to end.
I woke in my bed. In my twenty year old body. In the world where my grandma was gone. Along with Dog and so many others. Suddenly the dream felt like more of a nightmare. It made me want something more than I had ever wanted anything. Something that was impossible.

*Note, this was not a real dream. Just a writing activity.

© 2009 Amanda Harris

True Blood.

2009-08-24T16:26:00.002-05:00

A comment I received made me realize that I haven't talked about my other love, HBO's True Blood.
I choose not to compare it to Twilight. Twilight is for young adults, True Blood is for adults. True Blood's show is amazing while the books aren't that great. Twilight's books are amazing, but they haven't done a very good job with the movies. Therefore, though they're both about vampires, they are not to be compared in my eyes.

While I don't like the books that True Blood is based on, I have read a few of them, and I love Eric, and Bill's a douche. I don't like that they aren't giving us a reason to not like Bill in the show, and making Eric out to be the bad guy. The funny thing is, most people favor Eric even if they haven't read the books, which is good. Because he is the better character, in reality. (Not the real reality, but True Blood reality.)

Twilight love dwindling.

2009-08-04T11:35:00.002-05:00

I never thought I'd say this, but my love for Twilight is dwindling.
I think.
I can't wait for New Moon....I will be going to see it, and buying it. The same w/ all of the movies. Maybe it's just time, making me forget. Idk. But today I just don't care.

That's just today. Tomorrow may be a different story. ;)

The Vast Fields Of Ordinary.

2009-08-03T13:46:00.004-05:00

The Vast Fields of Ordinary is about a teenage boy, who is gay, but still in the closet. The book follows him through his last summer at home. His parents are on the verge of a divorce, and he's dealing with an abusive....for lack of a better word, "boyfriend". Until he meets Lucy, a girl in the neighborhood who is also gay, and develops a crush on a mysterious boy named Alex.

I don't want to give away any spoilers, on the off chance that someone may read this and want to read the book. But I will say what I thought of it.

I enjoyed it, for the most part. It was a cute book, but I think the character sending the biggest message is his "boyfriend" Pablo. He's struggling with who he is, and who he doesn't want to be. His story is the only story to learn anything from. The other characters' lives seem to be a walk in the park if you ask me.

There's also a missing girl in the book, and I don't understand the purpose of that. I think it's supposed to stand for something, but I can't figure out what.

My biggest problem with the book, was the ending. Books rarely end the way I want them to, but this one REALLY didn't.

Where did all the big laffy taffies go?

2009-08-02T18:28:00.003-05:00

Few stores carry them anymore. :( I don't want those little bitty shoestring ones, or the little bitesize ones...I want the big ones. I don't care what anyone says, they taste different!!!

Daily yo.

2009-08-02T18:23:00.002-05:00

I really plan on trying to do at least one blog post everyday. I enjoy it. A lot. I just never have much to write about, but I think I need to start practicing so that I can draw inspiration from the smallest things. :)

I just noticed my iPod is unplugged from my computer. I will not charge that way. I can only imagine that was the act of a certain little girl.

My kids are attached at the hip. My son crawls around after my daughter like she's the center of his world. It's adorable. I can be in a dark place, and seeing the way they are together brightens me up instantly.

I should really enjoy this while it lasts. B/c before I know it, they'll be at each other's throats.

Perfect Chemistry

2009-07-31T09:58:00.002-05:00

About six months ago, if you had asked me what my favorite genre of books were, I would have said mystery/suspense.
That was before Twilight came along.
I've also read a plethora of romance novels. Not necessarily because of the "outstanding" plot lines, because lets face it, they're all predictable. The stories are almost always the same, the details just vary a bit; the big picture is usually the same. But they're quick, cheap, and actually interesting even if they do all end the same.
But I love to read, so I will attempt to read pretty much anything you put in front of me. It seems as if Twilight has changed me a bit. I usually try to steer clear of young adult, I don't know why, I just do. I've never found much joy in reading about the lives of kids in high school, but evidentally, all it takes is the right plot to catch my attention. Like Twilight. :)

I read Perfect Chemistry, by Simone Elkeles yesterday. It was really good actually. I may have enjoyed partly because it is more intense than your normal young adult novel. It may also be in part because of the similarites I see in my own life.
NO, I'm not rich or perfect. And NO my boyfriend of seven years wasn't in a gang.
But we couldn't have been more opposite. From who we hung out with, to the music we listened to. We really didn't have anything in common. After all these years of being around each other has changed us, and we do have a whole hell of a lot in common now. But that isn't the point.

As I read the things Alex said in the book, I literally had flash backs to the way Russell was when he was "chasing" I guess you could call it.

So maybe my reasons for liking the book so much have more to do with my life than with the story, but I would still recommend it. :)

Bring Rachelle back!

2009-07-30T11:47:00.003-05:00

I'm seriously ticked about them replacing Rachelle Lafevre as Victoria in Eclipse. I don't understand it. What's the reasoning? They say it was conflicting schedules, but Rachelle herself said that the schedules did not conflict w/ each other.
So were they not happy w/ her performance in Twilight and New Moon? So they decided it was best to replace her? That far into the franchise? When her part in the movie is biggest of all? I'm seriously irritated by this, and I'm sure many other fans are as well.

2009-07-30T10:29:00.002-05:00

I haven't posted around here in a little while, and there's a reason for that. I don't have anything "happy" to post about. I had another family member pass away this last week, when my Aunt passed less than a month before.
Anytime I sit and try to write, it's always negative, and to be honest, I don't want to flood my page w/ negative posts. So I haven't written anything.
I have taken a major break from writing my books, which isn't like me. I also have chose not to read, which really isn't like me. I just don't feel like it. All I do in my free time is draw, which I love to do, and I'm glad I have th drive for it, but it isn't like me to not want to read.
I'm hoping this little period I'm going through passes soon. I'm sure I will have to go w/o losing someone in my life before that will happen.

Got that out of the way...

2009-07-02T09:45:00.002-05:00

Now that I've gotten the sad stuff out the way...
My son is almost crawling. It is very exciting. He's not even seven months old yet, and he's about to take off as I speak.
My daughter's talking more and more each day, which is to be expected of course, but it still amazes me when she says some things that I never imagined she could say.

Life would be perfect, if only people I loved stopped dying every few months.

Been a while....

2009-07-02T09:39:00.004-05:00

I haven't written in a while, so I figure I need to. Well, not need, but want to.

I have had a very strange, and very sad couple of weeks.

Sad because my Aunt Evie passed away....I didn't see her much in the past couple of years, and as usual, I regret that. I remember old times with her, and I only wish I would've spent more time around her. She was a great person, who never failed to make you feel better no matter the situation, and she will be missed dearly by many.

Also sad, for the world, not so much me personally, is all of the celebrities dropping like flies. They're dying left and right. Michael Jackson??? Seriously...RIP.

Strange, because I haven't wanted to do anything I normally I love to do. I haven't wanted to read, or watch tv, or anything. I've written some, and I've drawn a little, but usually all I want to do is read, and it's been a struggle for me to even pick up a book. It's a little frustrating, because I have quite a few books that I need to read.....soon.

And so...RIP to all of those we have lost recently...

Twilight Obsessed

2009-06-07T22:04:00.006-05:00

*Edit 10/15/09*. I look back at this post, and realize, I was an idiot. The books are good, but not as good as I apparently thought they were only months ago. My favorite books of all time? Um, not at all. There's no way I could have matured much in the last six months, but judging by this crap, it seems as though I have.

The Twilight obsession is getting a little ridiculous. No, not YOUR obsession, MINE. If I have a moment of free time, it's thinking about how far away Novemeber is, and how waiting that long for New Moon is killing me. Not to mention I have to keep myself reading a book at all times just so I don't restart the series, again.

We talk about Twilight like it's real life. They are by far my favorite books, but damn. She seriously needs to write Midnight Sun, that's another thing that is killing me!

I've read the first twelve chapters of Midnight Sun, legitimately, on her website. It's amazing. I think I like it better then Bella's version. I died a bit inside when I found out that Stephenie Meyer doesn't currently have any plans to finish it. Or as it says on her website, it is "postponed indefinitely". Heartbreaking. At least we know they have a happy ending. But when you read it from Edward's perspective, Edwards love for her is so much more intense, it makes Bella's love for him look like nothing more than a high school crush.

Hopefully Stephenie Meyer realizes, which I'm sure she does, that Twilight fans are awaiting Midnight Sun very eagerly. It's torture not knowing whether or not we're waiting for nothing. I can handle the wait, as long as I know I'm waiting for something. But not knowing for sure is killing me. The Twilight Saga are by far my favorite books, and I really want to add to my collection!!

Twilight Love

2009-06-05T18:05:00.004-05:00

I just realized that the most recent thing I posted about Twilight, was a Twilight discussion question. Then my computer messed up, and I just got a new one....

Since then, I've read all four books, twice. So, doing the question no longer holds any appeal. It just wouldn't make much sense, considering I know everything that happens.

So I'll just say I absolutely loved the series. Which is why I've already read them twice. And I will definitely read them many more times. I'm trying very hard to wait to read them again until New Moon comes out. But I don't see that happening. Six months? I'll more than likely need my Twilight fix long before then.

I'm getting sick of seeing the "Twilight vs Harry Potter" nonsense online. I like Twilight better, as do a lot of people. Other people like Harry Potter better. What difference does it make? They aren't anything alike, why compare them?

The reason I like Twilight so much, other then the fact that I'm a sucker for love stories, is Stephenie Meyer's take on vampires. I was getting sick of the same old vampires. Can't go out in sunlight, silver and garlic protect you from them, they sleep in coffins.....to typical, and predictable. The Twilight saga is so different, it's about time someone puts a different twist on vampires. It's refreshing.

Could it be more perfect?

2009-06-04T15:13:00.003-05:00

Never Think, by Robert Pattinson.

(Twilight Soundtrack)

I should never think

What's in your heart

What's in our home

So I won't

You'll learn to hate me

But still call me baby

Oh Love

So call me by my name

And oh, save your soul

save your soul

Before you're too far gone

Before nothing can be done

I'll try to decide when

She'll lie in the end

I ain't got no fight in me

In this whole damn world

To tell you to hold off

You choose to hold on

It's the one thing that I've known

Once I put my coat on

I'm coming out of this all wrong

She's standing outside holding me

Saying oh please

I'm in love

Girl save your soul

Save your soul

Before you're too far gone

And before nothing

can be done

'Cause without me

You got it all

So hold on

Without me you got it all

So hold on

Without me you got it all

So hold on

Without me you got it all

So hold on

Without me you got it all

So hold on

Hold on

The song came before the movie, and yet it's eerily perfect for it.

Poor Baby Girl. :(

2009-06-02T23:25:00.004-05:00

My daughter has been running a fever for two days now. It fluctuates anywhere between 99 Degrees, and 102.8 degrees. I'm going to lose my mind. Every time I take her temperature, my stomach knots up as I watch the number keep rising. She has no other symptoms, and that makes it even more frustrating. There's nothing for the doctors to treat. I took her to the emergency room, they give her tylenol and send her home. I can't stand watching either of my kids sick. I just wish it was me. She doesn't act like it bothers her much, until she tries to go to sleep, and then I can tell she is uncomfortable. I just don't know what else to do for her.

Twilight Discussion Questions

2009-04-18T18:19:00.002-05:00

Seriously, Saturday evening, and I have nothing better to do then blog about Twilight? I really have no life outside the house do I? Eh, well.

Would it appeal to you to live forever? Why or why not?

Overall, I would have to say no. There are some things about living forever that obviously hold some appeal. But I think the down side overshadows the upside.

There are very few reasons I would want to live forever. For one, the thought of dying is just scary. It's a part of life, and I understand that, but it's still scary. Another is, the thought of leaving your loved ones behind. It's never easy thinking about what would be if you suddenly weren't around.

The down side, there's a lot to that side. For one, watching your loved ones die. So many people would come into your life, just for you to watch them die.

Another would be dealing with life. Don't get me wrong, I love life, but to live for all eternity? Now that just seems a bit too much to handle.

If you were one of the only ones living forever, you would obviously have to move around a lot. People would notice that you weren't getting any older. You could never get attached to anyone, unless of course, they were like you.

So all in all, I would not like to live forever. I don't want to die anytime soon, but it is part of life. There is no dodging it.

It's easy to SAY it, but is it true?

2009-04-18T10:44:00.003-05:00

There are millions of women, and probably men as well, out there who want kids more than anything in the world, and they can't have them. Whether it be because of a health problem, not successful in getting pregnant, significant other doesn't want kids but they love them to much to walk away, etc.For this reason, it makes me sick when "parents" take advantage of what they have.

I see it everywhere. All over blogs, myspace, etc. "I love My kids", "My kids are my world", and so on.

They say these things, but are they really true. You say you'd die for your kids, but would you really?

These same people are the ones complaining about not being able to go out drinking when their children are still infants. Claiming to be in dire need of a break, before their baby can hold their own head up. Leaving them with a babysitter or the grandparents every weekend, because they would rather be club hopping. It disgusts me.

I don't know where people get the idea that as long as your kids are fed, and have a roof over their head, you're doing your job as a parent. Being a good parent takes a lot more then just supporting your kids financially. If you aren't loving your kids the way you should, you are lacking as a parent. It's simple.

So maybe you got pregnant by accident, either way, the child is still yours. Your flesh and blood. The moment you find out your pregnant, it should be your life. When you have a child, you're saying goodbye, or at least you should be, to the party scene.

If anyone takes offense to this, then I'm talking to you. And I only have two more words for you.

Grow Up.

Twilight Discussion Questions.

2009-04-18T08:30:00.002-05:00

So this one isn't found in the back of the book. I found it somewhere online yesterday, and I don't remember where. So thank you, whoever you are, for providing these questions.

Edward really is unlike any human guy – even his breath is intoxicating! What do you make of the criticism that Twilight gives young female readers unrealistic expectations of men?

It's kind of interesting, I've been saying this very thing about romance novels in general for quite some time. I've read my fair share of romance novels. I mean A LOT of them. They're all very unrealistic. The way men are portrayed in these books is almost always completely fairy tale. Lets face it, not even women act the way these men do in these stories.

However, I don't think Twilight is any worse then any other love story. In fact, it should be easier for young girls and women alike, to grasp that it is just a fairy tale, considering Edward is a mythical creature and all. It doesn't get anymore unrealistic then that.

I think a lot of the expectations that are taken away from romance novels is mostly naivety. However there are still women who can't find a man at all, because they're searching for an Edward Cullen. It's sad really, but it's life. I did the same thing for a while when I was in my romance novel phase. I always went away thinking, why can't guys be that way in the real world. I now realize, that just isn't the way things are, in the real world.

And I thought it would be overrated.

2009-04-18T08:11:00.004-05:00

So I finished book one in the Twilight saga. Amazing. Even more amazing then the movie, if that was even possible.

Okay, so I'm a little late jumping on the Twilight bandwagon, but I was skeptical at first. I generally try to steer clear of anything that the public goes completely gaga over. I've found 9 times out of 10, I generally don't end up liking it. For example, Harry Potter, sorry, just not my cup of tea.

So I never bought Twilight, thinking with all the hype, it had to be overrated. I was so very wrong. Possibly one of the best love stories I've read, of all time. That and The Notebook of course.

There are a lot of details in the book that I think would have been very important for them to add to the movie. A lot of things in the movie, because I had not read the book, left me wondering.

With that being said, I'm amazed at some of the very small details that they managed to get into the movie. Impressive.

So now I'm eager, yet slightly afraid, to read New Moon. I've heard from everybody and their brother, that it's extremely depressing. It's part of the story though, you can exactly skip the depressing parts.

So, New Moon, here I come. From what I hear, be ready to soak up my tears.

Favorites-Fifteen for Friday

2009-04-17T12:53:00.004-05:00

Some random favorites:

Alcoholic drink: I don't drink.
Athlete: Chuck Liddell.
Old tv show: Roseanne/That 70's Show
New tv show: Bones/Being Erica
Reality Show: A.I./ABDC
Comedian: Dane Cook/Nick Swardson
Rapper: Tech N9ne.
R&B/Soul singer: Joss Stone.
Country singer: Carrie Underwood.
Metal band: Slipknot.
Rock band: Avenged Sevenfold/Cky.
Color: Red.
Day of the week: Saturday.
Makeup: Mascara/Eyeliner.
Way to listen to music (cd, radio, etc): iPod.

The Twilight loving bloggers dream!

2009-04-17T09:02:00.002-05:00

In the back of the book "Twilight", well in the back of some of the books, there are discussion questions. I figure they're more than likely made for book clubs to discuss, but I'm going to answer them here. I ♥ blogging, and I ♥ Twilight, so why not?

I'm skipping around the questions, some of them require more then thought then I feel like putting into it right now.

2. Bella faints at the smell of blood. If she were to become a vampire, how might this serve as a hindrance? How might it become an asset?

If Bella can't be around blood without fainting, I'm not sure how she would handle being a vampire. Whether it be animal blood, or human blood, it's still blood. She'll need something to survive. My only prediction would be that she would have to find some way to overcome it, in order to keep from becoming a crazed savage.

If Bella can find a way to overcome the fainting for animal blood, but not human blood, it would make it a lot easier for her to fight the temptation of human blood.

However, if she were a vampire, would she faint at all? They can't sleep, so maybe she can't faint. I don't know, but I guess I'll find out in the coming weeks when I read the next books!

The lonely Tomato.

2009-04-16T15:19:00.002-05:00

I think my "gardening" idea, is going to be more of a tomato plant than a garden. Tomatoes seem to be the easiest plant to grow, and lets face, I don't have a lot of free time. (at least not free time that I can use outside tending to a garden).

It's slightly upsetting to read how much really goes along with planting a garden. It's a lot of work, and I'd have to get started pronto, in order to grow lettuce like I wanted to.

This is sad considering I only wanted to grow four simple veggies. Tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, and possibly potatoes. That's it. Surely I can figure out a way to work it out. Right? I'm afraid to commit to it.

I'm torn. I really would like to grow my own veggies. It would save us a lot of money. Other then myself, my family doesn't consume much tomatoes, cucumbers, or lettuce. However, we eat potatoes gallore. It would make life much simpler if I could just pick them out of my own garden.

I love a good salad. Any day of the week. However I don't buy much because I'm the only one that will eat it. The boyfriend and my daughter will pretty much only eat potatoes and corn. If I had my own garden to pick these things from, I wouldn't feel guilty about buying things that only I would eat.

Then there's Stitch. Our iguana. We've found that he'll only eat lettuce. So that would be another thing we wouldn' t have to worry about.

All of this is assuming I could even be successful in gardening. I'm not even sure if my backyard is really suitable. I guess I'll have to do more research. I really want to make this happen!

Almost came to tears. :(

2009-04-15T21:31:00.003-05:00

I am EXTREMELY happy that they saved Matt, but I'm also very upset that they even needed to. I only voted for him once, and I knew as time passed, and I hadn't voted anymore, I would regret it. And I did. Not that my votes would've made much of a difference.

I so so so so so badly wanted to see Lil go. I don't think she deserves to be there, and it's really getting irritating. I will be voting for strictly Matt for the full two hours next week, you can bet on that. Normally I don't like to vote that many times, because I see it as cheating, kind of. But in my mind, I can see little teen girls sitting on the phone for two hours voting their little hearts out for Kris and Adam. So, now I'm going to.

I think America has finally caught on and started voting for Allison. Good for you America!

So now 2 people go home next week. I think it will come down to Lil, Matt, and Anoop again. I guess we'll see what happens.....Lil is bound to be horrible on disco night!

Nausea, please leave me. :(

2009-04-15T16:22:00.002-05:00

Every single day, around this time, I start feeling very shaky, and nauseous. I feel like the world is spinning,(figuratively speaking.....obviously). I feel that way until I go eat something. At first I thought it was that I wasn't getting enough food throughout the day, and this was just the time it hit me. (because I often forget to eat) However, beginning to wonder if it isn't a side affect of my birth control. I'd stop taking it, if I was okay with getting pregnant. But I'm definitely not okay with that right now. If it happened, I would welcome it whole heartedly, but I would just rather not have to worry about it.

There's really nothing I can take to suppress the nausea, and even if there were, I probably wouldn't take it. I'm not a fan of taking medicine, I rarely even take Tylenol. If I felt we were ready for another baby, I wouldn't even take any birth control.

Hopefully, it's just my bad eating habits. If I can get all that on track, maybe it'll stop. Lets hope.

Ranting and Raving-Fair warning.

2009-04-15T10:46:00.003-05:00

I try my best to enjoy every day of my life. But I guess today I'm just in one of those moods, that make it difficult to maintain a cheery mood.

There are a lot of things going through my head today, a lot of them are meaningless, even to me, but they stay there all the same.

I just realized how much I hate the phrase "Bun in the Oven"....I think it sounds very disrespectful to the baby, even if the baby has no idea what's going on. It just sounds, nasty.

I knew this girl, back in about fifth grade. We were really good friends, and to this day, our families are slightly invested in each other. However, I have personally, not been friends with her for a very long time. She's now pregnant. I'm honestly not sure if she even knows who the dad is, nor do I care. It's her life, I just hope the baby is well taken care of.

Although her situation is really none of my business, it does pose some questions in my mind. I will probably never understand "casual sex", and I'm totally okay with not understanding it. It's just not something I personally would ever do. But for those who do it....there are so so so many things you can do to prevent pregnancy, and if you're having "casual sex", it only makes sense to do everything in your power to keep from getting pregnant. Yet, most of them don't. The guys, nor the girls. And baby's are consistently brought into this world to parents who barely, if at all, know each other. It simply disgusts me, for the kids' sake.

Someone I've known for a very long time passed away a few days ago, and I just simply don' t understand it. Something seems very, off, about the whole situation. I feel like someone is hiding something, but I have no clue who, what, or why. But something doesn't feel right.The police have apparently ruled it a suicide, yet the family/witness, have told about five different stories. Their stories have all led back to it being an accidentally, in one way or another. Nothing makes sense to me.

I think coping with death, may be a little easier for me if I had faith in the fact that I would see them again someday. However, I can't force myself to have faith in something I simply don't believe exists.The feeling of hopelessness after someone dies is one of the reasons I believe man created religion in the first place. It makes me understand why I believe religion was created, but it doesn't help me believe in any religion. It's times like these that I wish I could bring myself to believe in something, anything.

I'm happy without religion in my life. I try to live every single day to the best of my ability, and I try not to take anything for granted. It's not like I'm a devil worshiper. I don't believe there's a devil either. Death just doesn't seem like something that should force me to become religious. It just wouldn't be right.

I think I'm done for now.....

Appreciating what you have.

2009-04-15T09:49:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if this video depressed me, or uplifted me more. It's definitely an eye opener. You really don't realize how good you have it until it's broken down this way. It just goes to show.....things could be much worse.

American Idol Recap, 4/14 performances.

2009-04-14T22:05:00.002-05:00

Well, my admiration for Adam Lambert was short lived. Last week, for a moment or two, I kind of understood why everyone and their brother had jumped on the "Adam Lambert Bandwagon", but after tonights performance, I understand once again why I jumped off of it.
As soon as he said he'd be doing "Born to be Wild", I knew there would be a lot of unnecessary screaming. And there was. He always goes over the top. And maybe it wouldn't be as bad if he would keep his tongue in his mouth while he's doing the screaming....
Anoop, surprisingly, was my favorite tonight. I felt his performance was the most heartfelt. That might be because he's pretty sure, like I am, that he's going home this week.
Allison, loved it. Of course. That girl can sing. Nothing much I can say about it.
Danny, I liked his performance. Not his best by any means, but he definitely deserves to be there.
Kris....I did not like this performance. Which sucks, because until last week, I was beginning to like him.
Matt. I thought it was good. Not his best, but not his worst. Notice how he always picks a song that would be the way to a woman's heart? Hmm. I think we'll be hearing him sing many love songs of his own in the future, win or lose.
Lil. Hated it. Always do. I want to see her go. She has no personality, and she isn't an artist in her own right. Nothing she sings ever sounds original. It's extremely karaoke.
Unfortunately, I don't think she'll be going home. I (sadly), think we'll be saying goodbye to Anoop this week. His performance was my favorite, but he doesn't seem to be a crowd favorite, at all. :( Hopefully America wakes up and stops voting for Lil!
Matt and Allison are still my favorites. I usually don't judge contestants on a week to week basis. I generally have my favorites picked out by the top 11 or 12, and stick with them. So as it stands, they are still my favorite!

Now w/ all of that being said, here's my ranking:

Anoop-I really loved this performance.
Allison
Danny
Matt
Adam
Kris
Lil----Please tell me this is the last time I'll be typing her name????

A Home Birth Gone Wrong, sadly.

2009-04-14T14:43:00.004-05:00

So there's this website.....Joyous Birth....it is run by an advocate for free birth. Free birth is giving birth to your child at home, without any medical help of any kind. No doctors, nurses, midwives, absolutely nothing.

For a lot of women, things go perfectly fine. This site is full of hospital horror stories, and home birth success stories.

What people may not realize, is that the woman who runs this site, has recently given "free birth", and her child did not survive. An ambulance was called, but it was too late. Extremely heartbreaking.

First let me say my heart truly goes out to this woman. It doesn't matter who you are, or what method of childbirth you decide to use, when something like this happens, my heart goes out to you. I could not imagine losing a baby.

With that being said, I believe she should post her story on her website. She runs a website with all of these success stories, and pictures, it's....well...."joyous". But she herself, is a perfect example of why you SHOULD use some sort of medical help when giving birth. Home birth, I definitely understand the appeal there, but there should at the very least, be a midwife present.

I won't pretend I know whether a hospital birth, or an at home birth are safer statistically, because I don't know. However, irregardless of which is safer, I believe she should have some concern for what her website may put into women's minds. The fact is, something could go very very wrong in a home birth, even if you do everything right. She's a perfect example of that.

I want, and I think the people who visit her website deserve to hear from her.

A nice visit.

2009-04-14T13:33:00.002-05:00

My mom came to visit today. She only lives about two hours away, yet I rarely get to see her. The last time I saw her was back in October, and although I talk to her everyday, it just isn't the same.

I won't lie, it made my day. It's nice to have a visitor every once in a while, and mine are few and far between.

Totally Random

2009-04-13T22:45:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I have totally random thoughts. And I want to start documenting them in some way shape or form.

today's random thought: Do you ever wonder if utility bills would be lower if we had white shingles?

Not cool Octo-Mom, not cool.

2009-04-13T11:39:00.002-05:00

Get the scoop.

So, the Oct0-Mom is looking into a reality show.
First of all, let me say, I don't think quite as negatively about this woman as most people do. I think she was out of her mind to even attempt one more baby after already having six, but there's nothing we can do to change that.
I also understand her looking into WIC to help with the cost of formula. She wouldn't have to worry about how to cover the cost of formula for 8 kids if she hadn't had them in the first place, but again, what's done is done.
None of these things are my issue with her. My issue, is the reality show. She needs money, yeah, I understand. But she's putting her children in the lime light enough already, a reality show will only make it that much worse.
Her parents are also looking for a way to make money off of these kids.
How do you think the kids are going to feel about this fifteen years from now, when they look back and realize they were used for profit, by both their mother, and their grandparents?
There are already 14 kids without a father, with a crazy mother who complains about the scrutiny she gets from the media, yet keeps throwing herself and her kids right in front of the cameras.
I feel for these kids. Deeply. In the long run, they're going to be the ones that will feel the consequences of their mother's selfishness.
♥Amanda

Goals. Short term.

2009-04-13T08:35:00.005-05:00

Lets face it, there are some things that I am in dire need of accomplishing. Some other things I just WANT to accomplish.
These are some goals I hope to accomplish within the next 6 months at most.

Get my daughter potty trained.
Improve driving skills, get license. GUH!
Get this house organized.
Learn how to start a garden, and hopefully start one.
Read the Twilight series. At least the ones that are out....
Start some sort of exercise program. At least SOMETHING.
Cut back on the soda. That needs to happen, now.
Attempt to learn to play an instrument. Either guitar, or piano/keyboard.

The main one that I thought about needing to accomplish, slipped my mind as I was writing this post.
Oh well, I can always add to list.

♥Amanda

Hey Spring, I think we're on our way.

2009-04-13T08:18:00.003-05:00

Here in Missouri, I think we've been waiting very patiently for Mr. Spring to finally make his presence known. We've had the rain, and a few thunderstorms here and there. But this cold weather.....when will it ever leave? I love the rain, as long as I don't have to take the kids out in it. But even then, that's what umbrella's are for, right? However, it's slightly ridiculous to have to put the kids in two or three layers of clothing, to go outside in the middle of Spring!

Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit.....but it is cold. Too cold for my liking. Not only that, but I'm afraid when the warmth finally does arrive permanently, we'll have some nasty tornado weather. And lets just say, like any sane person, I'm not too fond of those tornadoes.

Oh but my allergies are sure telling me "Shut up, can't you feel it? Spring is here..."
Uh, yeah, I feel the tingling in my nose and throat, and the 2 day long congestion any time I walk through the Lawn and Garden section of Walmart! Oh yeah, you better believe I feel it.

♥Amanda

Broke down and bought it.

2009-04-12T22:08:00.002-05:00

I finally broke down and bought Twilight, the book. I have already watched the movie, but I want to read at least the first two books before the next movie comes out. However, due to all the Twilight Hype, I haven't been able to find the book with the original cover, anywhere. It's always sold out, and all I can find is the one w/ the cast as the cover. That just isn't the same to me.
So, my sister has it, a friend has it, yet I have yet to get around to borrowing it from any of them. So, I figured, I'll just buy the one w/ the cast as the cover. It's the same book. I can deal.

So now I'm home. Book in hand. And I realize just how much time I DON'T have to read anymore. My son is four months old, so his naps are only 20-30 minutes at a time. Those few minutes usually have to be used to do some laundry, or some sort of other chore.

Ugh. I really want to read this book. Hopefully I get a chance tomorrow!

♥Amanda

Deeply Saddening.

2009-04-12T20:51:00.003-05:00

You know when you hear or read a piece of news, and it makes your stomach knot up? You just wish there was something you could do? Well I had one of those moments today. Not a pleasant feeling.

According to Y! News, Shriners Hospitals for Children is considering closing 6 of it's hospitals. I know closing only six of their hospitals doesn't sound THAT bad. However, there are only 22 hospitals currently open. That's cutting more then a quarter of their facilities. That's scary.

The economy has, understandably, affected their donations. For those of you who don't know what Shriners Hospitals for Children is, here are a few facts:

Shriners Hospitals system opened in 1922 with a facility in Shreveport, La., that specialized in treating polio.

Over the past 86 years, Shriners Hospitals for Children has provided medical care, at absolutely no charge, to more than 865,000 children with orthopaedic conditions, burns, spinal cord injuries and cleft lip and palate.

Can I please reiterate, AT ABSOLUTELY NO CHARGE.

They say it isn't a done deal, but if things don't improve, they may have no choice but to shut some hospitals down. Staff at the Hospitals in danger will be rallying for fundraisers.

It's very sad, and I wish I was in a position to be able to donate. Unfortunately, I'm not. There may come a day when it could mine, yours, your uncle's cousin's sisters kids that need attention. Hopefully Shriners will still be there to give it. :(

♥Amanda

Strange...

2009-04-12T19:48:00.002-05:00

SANTA ANA, Calif. — A judge sentenced a onetime child actor to death for murdering an Arizona couple by tying them to an anchor and throwing them overboard from their yacht off Southern California.

Orange County Superior Court Judge Frank F. Fasel on Friday imposed the sentence recommended by the jury that convicted 29-year old Skylar Deleon of killing Tom and Jackie Hawks of Prescott, Ariz.

Click here for the full story

First of all, I don't believe they'll ever actually put the guy to death. I'm sorry, but I'm one of those who don't have much faith in our justice system. It's corrupt, and I'm sure this guys has money.

Or maybe not....maybe that's why he killed them in the first place.

Either way, I can't help but wonder, which Power Ranger was he?.....I just don't care enough to look it up.

♥Amanda